Monday, April 8, 2013

Attributes


My husband and I have our best conversations while driving or walking. Yesterday we spent most of the day driving from Atlanta to Gulf Shores, AL. We're taking a few days off just for us.

Unexpectedly my husband asked if I'd like him to tell me his favorite things about me. Of course I would -- I was just hoping they would be good things!

He listed off a variety of things: my faith, my intellect, my perseverance, my cooking skills, and my willingness to feed people whenever he asks me to.

My immediate reaction was to deny these attributes, or explain, or negate. Instead I told myself to be still and listen. Really hear what he was saying. As I worked to focus on his perception of me I felt pulled to start creating a complimentary list for him in my head. But again, I stopped myself. I listened to the positive things he sees in me. I tried on a few of those compliments just to see how they felt, and whether or not I felt that they fit. 

It's a difficult thing for me to say, and harder still to write, but he made some good points. And they were probably accurate. 

I was raised in an environment that told me not to "take pride" in myself for who I was. Don't think too highly of yourself or it will be your downfall. Add to that the spectre of abuse, and the impact that had on my self-esteem, and you begin to get a picture of how I developed this self-loathing that I fight daily.

So I'm not writing this post to proclaim how wonderful I am to you. I guess I'm writing this post as a continuation of the love letter I wrote to my body. It's a reminder to me that I am created by God -- all of me. And it would be pretty insulting to God to negate the gifts He's given to me. 


linking up to a love dare


4 comments:

  1. Turning off that negativity filter is ridiculously hard. I am so glad you fought the filter and let the good soak in.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good for you. Accept those compliments as gifts the Lord has given you, and you've obviously stewarded those gifts well.

    And what a sweet husband you have to ask if he could tell those things! Love that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Melanie
    I truly believe there always needs to be a balance. Yes, we should not think to highly of ourselves, BUT we also should not loathe ourselves!! This is easier said than done. This kind of mindset can be so detrimental for, from experience, I know that it can lead you into such destructive behavior as you try to escape the inner turmoil and pain. After all, our Pappa God created us and He thinks the works of His hands are very good! Visiting via Emily's.
    Blessings
    Mia

    ReplyDelete
  4. YES. there is such beauty in this honest acceptance of the way God made you, and the gifts he gave you. love this.

    ReplyDelete

Please sign up as a follower to see comment replies.