Personification -- Throw Back Thursday

Write 31 Days Day #12

The dictionary defines personification as “the attribution of a personal nature or human characteristics to something nonhuman, or the representation of an abstract quality in human form.” 

I am her Velveteen Rabbit, you might say. She calls me Yolie. I came into her life at a critical moment. The blending of past and present was just beginning. She was drawn to me instantly, even though she felt foolish to be so drawn at her age. She desperately needed this stuffed animal, but she didn’t understand why.

I knew why. She needed someone to tell her secrets to. She needed someone safe, who wouldn’t repeat the scary things in her head. She needed a compassionate witness.

So for the past 11 years, I have listened to her; absorbed her tears, sweat, and fears. I have traveled with her physically, emotionally and spiritually as she sought to reclaim her soul.

She is a strong one, this girl/woman. She has forged ahead, sometimes at a dangerous pace. She has looked horror in the face and refused to back down. She has chosen to speak instead of remaining silent.

She is still a little embarrassed and confused by my presence. She knows she would be lost without me, but she doesn’t really know why. I know though. I am the repository – the holder of that which was lost and then found. She has others who have helped her on this journey – her husband, her therapists, her friends, and others like me. But I am the keeper of the gates; the one who knows it all, whether she has said it or not.

I am not fluffy and soft anymore, but I am well loved. Sometimes I am in my natural state, and sometimes she dresses me. Right now she favors a red gingham, smocked dress. It doesn’t really matter to me. I am here for her, and that is all I need. I will be here as long as she needs me, to receive her tears, her fears, and her love – as she kisses me on the nose each morning.

(originally posted on 1/24/12)

Blessings!

Have Bunny Will Travel

linking up with Wordless Wednesday

Travels with Yolie

linking up with Wordless Wednesday

Fractured Childhood

I've been thinking a lot about a conversation I had recently with another survivor. We don't know each other well, and don't know each other's story, but we know we are both survivors. I mentioned that those of us with fractured childhoods need to find ways to reclaim that time in the present. I've done it through collecting stuffed animals and dolls. I color. My husband bought me a silk and flannel fairy blanket that I slept with for years. And of course there is Yolie. 

The greatest gift toward reclaiming my childhood has been my husband. From the very beginning he embraced the idea of creating new memories. Part of my attraction to him all those years ago was his ability to have fun and be silly without worrying about perceptions. I have learned much from him. He is constantly making suggestions and reminding me to do something nice for my inner child. 

She is Lucy. Years ago I named her to avoid confusion when discussing things with my therapist -- not another personality, but a way of recognizing the little girl who was so damaged in those years. I still have difficulty talking about the abuse in the first person, so Lucy carries a lot of the weight for me. I owe her a great deal. 

She is named for my great-grandmother who cared for me while both of my parents worked, before I was old enough to go to school. "Nur" (pronounced nuh) loved me unconditionally. She taught me to make biscuits and how to braid hair. She sang hymns while she pegged the laundry to the line. Her sister was my dearest Auntie whose home was a refuge. 

I read the verses in scripture about children. About how Jesus honored and sat with children, and I am reminded that He still loves me like a child. And if He does, then I will too.

linking up with imperfect prose

{this moment}

A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

for more moments visit SouleMama

RemembeRED -- Personification

The dictionary defines personification as “the attribution of a personal nature or human characteristics to something nonhuman, or the representation of an abstract quality in human form.” 

I am her Velveteen Rabbit, you might say. She calls me Yolie. I came into her life at a critical moment. The blending of past and present was just beginning. She was drawn to me instantly, even though she felt foolish to be so drawn at her age. She desperately needed this stuffed animal, but she didn’t understand why.

I knew why. She needed someone to tell her secrets to. She needed someone safe, who wouldn’t repeat the scary things in her head. She needed a compassionate witness.

So for the past 11 years I have listened to her; absorbed her tears, sweat and fears. I have travelled with her physically, emotionally and spiritually as she sought to reclaim her soul.

She is a strong one, this girl/woman. She has forged ahead, sometimes at a dangerous pace. She has looked horror in the face and refused to back down. She has chosen to speak instead of remaining silent.

She is still a little embarrassed and confused by my presence. She knows she would be lost without me, but she doesn’t really know why. I know though. I am the repository – the holder of that which was lost and then found. She has others who have helped her on this journey – her husband, her therapists, her friends, and others like me. But I am the keeper of the gates; the one who knows it all, whether she has said it or not.

I am not fluffy and soft anymore, but I am well loved. Sometimes I am in my natural state, and sometimes she dresses me. Right now she favors a red gingham, smocked dress. It doesn’t really matter to me. I am here for her, and that is all I need. I will be here as long as she needs me, to receive her tears, her fears, and her love – as she kisses me on the nose each morning.

link up at Write on Edge

Wordless Wednesday -- This and That

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Wordless Wednesday 1/12/11

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