It's my first full week of unemployment. I am going back and forth between happy and scared. I don't want to waste this time, but I want to enjoy it. On the one hand a plan would be great, but on the other hand it would be nice to just let things come as they will. So what will I do today? Laundry, exercise, make fresh corn chowder (it's cooler here today), write some, read some, maybe pull out the sewing machine and look at some fabric. I'm still trying to figure out who/what I want to be when I grow up (afterall I'm only 47!).

Two good lessons yesterday at church. One was the first in a series on being "Wholly Holy" and the other was "Clues from Monastics". If you get the chance check out St. Benedict's 12 Step Ladder of Humility:

1. "Always have the fear of God before our eyes" -- practicing the presence of God

2. Distrust my own will and accept God's will

3. Accept limits

4. Accept injuries, difficulties and hardships as blessings

5. Hide nothing

6. Practice contentment with the "meanest and worst of everything"

7. See ourselves as "the lowest and the vilest"

8. Follow trustworthy guides

9. Do not judge

10. Empathy with others' losses

11. Speak gently, briefly and not much

12. Also take on an exterior that is also humble

(w/thanks to Lee Camp)

Remember, God is not surprised by anything I do and He is not out to get me. I'm not where I need to be, but thank God, I'm not where I used to be!