I've lost something this summer. Usually I bounce back from my late spring/early summer blues by this time. It's just not happening this year, and frankly it's beginning to worry me.
I said something to my daughter about it yesterday, and she reminded me not to feel obligated to explain it. It is what it is. But I can't quite shake that old feeling that if I were a good Christian I wouldn't be feeling this way.
And that's when I stopped and made a mental list --
:: summer is rife with bad memories for me
:: dh is in grad school and working full time leaving him precious little time for relaxing with me
:: I have 2 friends who are dying of cancer -- imminently
:: my allergies/asthma are making it practically impossible to enjoy being outside, so no swimming so far this year
:: and not to over share, but I'm going through "the change"
So this morning I'm looking at that list and making a new list. A shorter to-do list that includes some fun stuff for me and a lot more kindness for feeling tired and overheated and a bit breathless this summer.
Instead of viewing something as lost, I think I'll focus on discovering something new about summer and me.
linking up with Five Minute Friday