Friday, December 12, 2014

Prepare

I prepare for a long weekend getaway. I prepare by making plans, packing my clothes and toiletries. I pack a couple of books and my computer. I take my crocheting, because I take it everywhere.

I prepare for spending a whole weekend with my husband. He is a good man, but sometimes we struggle. I remind myself that my value is not dependent on his perceptions, anymore than his is dependent on mine.

We listen to Christmas music in the car as we drive. He is recuperating from a respiratory infection. I remind myself that his silence is not an indictment of me or anything I've done or not done. He his sick. I like quiet, too, when I am sick.

No one prepared me for the lasting effects of childhood sexual abuse. No one explained that it would sneak up on me in the most delicate of ways. How it would invade even my most precious relationships.

So now I prepare in a different way. I prepare as best as I can for the unexpected. I prepare based on the assumption that there may be difficulties ahead, but those difficulties don't have to stop me from being my authentic self, and from living a life that prepares me for my eternal home.


linking up with Five Minute Friday


18 comments:

  1. Oh goodness. Praying for you, sweet friend. May God bless you with comfort, ease and the ability to pus through your trials. Visiting from FMF! Blessings for a beautiful holiday season ahead <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Each year the holidays get a little less stressful. Hubs and I are relaxing in a cabin in the Smoky Mtns. right now. He's still not feeling great but we are enjoying having nothing to do! Blessings.

      Delete
  2. I am so sorry. I will be praying for your trip and your relationship with your husband to be wonderful and whole. I too was sexually abused when I was young and it can creep up when you least expect it. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. We are relaxing and that is always a good thing. We needed some time alone together so this is perfect. I am sorry for your suffering as well, but appreciate your understanding. Blessings.

      Delete
  3. How I hope your weekend trip is pleasant, even if, quiet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Unfortunately hubby is still feeling terribly so we came home last night :(
      Blessings.

      Delete
  4. Hope your trip is worth all of your hard work preparing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I did my job well, but hubs is still feeling awful so we came home last night :(
      Blessings.

      Delete
  5. Hope you have a great trip! Sorry you had such a bad experience. Prayers ascending for your relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! We are doing better, but hubs is still sick!
      Blessings.

      Delete
  6. Oh a cabin in the Smokies - at Christmas time... praying that the silence is a gift... and that in it, you continue to hear Him singing over you! Praying you continue to find healing as you lean in... (and praying for your hubs too! It's no fun when they are sick!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. We enjoyed what we could, but came home last night because hubs is still so sick. Such is life.
      Blessings.

      Delete
  7. I am always amazed that one word lends itself to so many different perspectives. You have brought a whole new light to "prepare" and I enjoyed reading your words today. Thank you for sharing your heart with such transparency and vulnerability - I know that's not easy. Blessings, FMF neighbor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tend to go a different way on these prompts than a lot of people. Blessings.

      Delete
  8. I would imagine the effects are lasting - how could they not be? so sorry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. It does seem obvious, but I am constantly surprised by it. Blessings.

      Delete
  9. I hope you have a fabulous difficulty free weekend! Your honesty is going to help so many people!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Unfortunately we came home last night so hubs could sleep in his own bed. Blessings.

      Delete

Please sign up as a follower to see comment replies.