When I started this blog my plan was to write about the abuse and healing in a way that would help other people. I hope that's been true, but it's really been about helping myself. The more I get it out there and the more positive feedback I get about getting it out there, the less alone I feel.
I spent a lot of years walking around in a fog, pretending (unconsciously) to be something I wasn't. I was striving so hard for perfection that I wasn't really living. Not connecting with myself, so it was impossible to truly connect with anyone else. I even had a friend tell me later in life that he was always so impressed with me because I was so poised. Apparently I was a better actress than I thought I was, because I was doing a good job of fooling the people around me.
Part of my problem was I needed permission to share my story. The abusers had locked it away inside of me. Some with overt threats. Others with implied threats. And over time it just became a given that I wasn't supposed to tell. What few bits and pieces I shared were dismissed or ignored as unimportant, so there was no hope of anyone believing the really bad stuff. I put it away in a box in the back of mind and conveniently "forgot" about it, because it wasn't going to be addressed until I felt someone really wanted to know, but no one ever asked me.
linking up with Writer's Workshop
Oh wow. I love your courage now.
ReplyDeleteIt's a brave thing you are doing. I encourage you to tell more of your story. It will help you and others who do not have the courage to speak about it.
ReplyDeleteI pray for you to receive continued strength and healing...may your courage increase as you tell a hard, but powerful story!
ReplyDeleteI love how you are walking out your journey here... walking into more and more of your healing... I see freedom and bravery and courage, my friend!
ReplyDeleteThis is really good Melanie! Sometimes it is just for our own personal healing, although I think your story needs to be heard and can help others. I think it can be both.
ReplyDeleteYes, keep telling your story. It took me along time to share my families struggles with mental illness. Once I began telling our story, God put people in my path who needed to know they weren't alone. I have a feeling your story is going to bless others too.
ReplyDeleteOnce we eliminate the shame and the self-blame, others can tell our stories, too. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteOh, sweet friend, I'm asking! Keep telling your story. It DOES matter. It IS important!
ReplyDeleteStopping by for 5 for 5. So glad I did. I know your story is helping a lot of people! No one needs to feel they are alone in their struggles. Bless you!
ReplyDeleteI love that blogging offers you the space to share your feelings without having to be asked. Your voice deserves to be heard.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are facing the secrets. The truth does set us free. Sending a prayer for your good mental and physical health.
ReplyDelete