Thursday, April 2, 2015

No one ever asked

Write a blog post that ends with the line: No one ever asked me.

When I started this blog my plan was to write about the abuse and healing in a way that would help other people. I hope that's been true, but it's really been about helping myself. The more I get it out there and the more positive feedback I get about getting it out there, the less alone I feel.

I spent a lot of years walking around in a fog, pretending (unconsciously) to be something I wasn't. I was striving so hard for perfection that I wasn't really living. Not connecting with myself, so it was impossible to truly connect with anyone else. I even had a friend tell me later in life that he was always so impressed with me because I was so poised. Apparently I was a better actress than I thought I was, because I was doing a good job of fooling the people around me.

Part of my problem was I needed permission to share my story. The abusers had locked it away inside of me. Some with overt threats. Others with implied threats. And over time it just became a given that I wasn't supposed to tell. What few bits and pieces I shared were dismissed or ignored as unimportant, so there was no hope of anyone believing the really bad stuff. I put it away in a box in the back of mind and conveniently "forgot" about it, because it wasn't going to be addressed until I felt someone really wanted to know, but no one ever asked me.

linking up with Writer's Workshop



11 comments:

  1. Oh wow. I love your courage now.

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  2. It's a brave thing you are doing. I encourage you to tell more of your story. It will help you and others who do not have the courage to speak about it.

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  3. I pray for you to receive continued strength and healing...may your courage increase as you tell a hard, but powerful story!

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  4. I love how you are walking out your journey here... walking into more and more of your healing... I see freedom and bravery and courage, my friend!

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  5. This is really good Melanie! Sometimes it is just for our own personal healing, although I think your story needs to be heard and can help others. I think it can be both.

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  6. Yes, keep telling your story. It took me along time to share my families struggles with mental illness. Once I began telling our story, God put people in my path who needed to know they weren't alone. I have a feeling your story is going to bless others too.

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  7. Once we eliminate the shame and the self-blame, others can tell our stories, too. Good for you!

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  8. Oh, sweet friend, I'm asking! Keep telling your story. It DOES matter. It IS important!

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  9. Stopping by for 5 for 5. So glad I did. I know your story is helping a lot of people! No one needs to feel they are alone in their struggles. Bless you!

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  10. I love that blogging offers you the space to share your feelings without having to be asked. Your voice deserves to be heard.

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  11. I'm glad you are facing the secrets. The truth does set us free. Sending a prayer for your good mental and physical health.

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