My Friend, Robyn

My friend, Robyn, died on Saturday. She had been suffering with pancreatic cancer. She really never had a chance, but she was surrounded by her friends, family, and incredibly loving husband to the very end.

It's gotten me thinking about that word, friend. I call her my friend, but I hadn't seen her in years. We used to work together and occasionally get together for a movie or dinner or drinks. I was in her home a couple of times and she was a spectacular hostess.

Webster's defines a friend as 

: a person who you like and enjoy being with

: a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity)

By that definition Robyn was a wonderful friend, because she fit all of those ideals.

Today I will go to her visitation and meet many more of her friends, a few I know already, but I am sure there will scores I've yet to meet. We will talk about Robyn and all that was good in her, and we will grieve with and embrace her family, especially her remarkable husband. 

Life was far too short for Robyn. She made a huge impact on every person who knew her and many who only met her once. She will be missed and remembered well.

We could all learn a lot from her. I know I have.

In loving memory --

Thankful Thursday #29

Today I'm thankful that yesterday is over.

Sometimes I look at my life in comparison to others' and wonder why I have such a difficult time.

Recently I've written about a lifelong friend who received that devastating cancer diagnosis (read more here). I have 2 other friends who are battling cancer, and this past weekend another friend had a lake accident that could have left her paralyzed. Blessedly she is recuperating from her 8 hours surgery and seems to be making good progress, but she has a long road ahead of her.

I am so sympathetic to these people. I am so impressed by their ability to handle their struggles with such grace, faith, and even humor.

Not so much me.

I feel as if I've been fighting a battle all summer and I'm tired and I want it to go away or at the very least end the way I want it to end.

Yesterday was another visit with another professional who gave me the same news I've been getting for months. This can't be fixed.

I know this intellectually. I even know it in my heart. The problem is it just makes me so sad and confused.

I will never have the relationship with these people that I crave; that I deserve. And they are missing out on so much while blaming me.

So today I'm thankful for my gracious heavenly Father who listens to my constant struggles and forgives me for being a slow learner.

I am thankful for my husband who is constantly at my side, helping along.

I am thankful for encouragement from others that I am not a crazy person, I just have some crazy-making people in my life.

But mostly I am thankful and praising God for the good news 2 of my friends received regarding their cancer and for the successful surgery on my other friend's back. I continue to ask that you lift up my friend, Sara, as I fear she may be losing her battle.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #19

My life turns on a dime. Sometimes it feels as if the realities of life are taking cues from a roller coaster . . . or maybe a ferris wheel.

Last week I wrote about a baby who wasn't expected to live more than a few days. This week he is still in NICU, but he is still alive and nursing, and doesn't have the predicted genetic disorder. It's a long way way from perfect, but it's an even longer way from certain death. Many people around the world have been praying for this family since the first diagnosis came in several weeks ago. Prayers have been answered, and a family has been given joy.

On Saturday night I learned that a friend from my college days has been diagnosed with stage IV cancer. She's a wonderful person, who has already suffered more than her share of grief. It's hard not to ask "Why?" Her husband is keeping us updated through Caring Bridge, and yesterday I registered with Lotsa Helping Hands to serve her in any way I can. Prayers are requested on her behalf for healing, comfort, and peace, but also for thanksgiving that access to the internet allows us all more connection to help one another.

Monday morning we had to put one of our dogs down. She had surgery in January and had been going downhill since then. Over the weekend she took a significant turn for the worse. She quit eating and began having additional issues. We had a family meeting on Sunday afternoon, and on Monday morning the kids and I took Etta to the vet for her final trip. It was a sad occasion of course, but I am grateful for the love she brought into our lives for more than 12 years. I was so gratified to watch my children handle the process. It is a hard fact of life that the more we love the more we have to lose.

Another trip out of town with my dear husband on Tuesday and Wednesday, and here we are back at Thursday again.

Grief and gratitude. Love and loss. Joy and sorrow. All part of the gift of life.

link up at Women Taking a Stand