Friday, April 10, 2015

Relief

a feeling of cheerfulness or optimism that follows the removal of anxiety, pain, or distress: I breathed a 
sigh of relief

It's a good news/bad news dilemma. Easter is past, and I feel relief. 

Easter is a time of celebration and joy, but each year I'm hampered by the call to feel a certain way. An enforced happiness because I am a Christian. Springtime brings a new set of triggers for me. A rape that took place in the spring, many years ago. Reminders come. It is the nature of trauma for it to rear its head. I've written about it before, and each year it's a bit easier.

So it's a relief for me to have Easter behind me. I remind myself there is no biblical imperative to acknowledge Easter in a different or more extravagant way than any other Sunday. I focus on the love of God -- to send His son as a gift for me. 

And I'm reminded of one of my favorite homilies. It comes from the movie Chocolat, an unexpected source of pleasure and learning for me. 

Père Henri: I'm not sure what the theme of my homily today ought to be. Do I want to speak of the miracle of Our Lord's divine transformation? Not really, no. I don't want to talk about His divinity. I'd rather talk about His humanity. I mean, you know, how He lived His life, here on Earth. His kindness, His tolerance... Listen, here's what I think. I think that we can't go around... measuring our goodness by what we don't do. By what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think... we've got to measure goodness by what we embrace, what we create... and who we include.


linking up with Five Minute Friday



4 comments:

  1. Oh friend, I know what you mean about certain things reminding you of trauma and being a trigger. My trauma reminders (with regard to the calendar) are coming up in June and July. Mine are still pretty fresh and even raw at times, so just thinking about them approaching can make my heart race a bit. Oddly though, I know what you mean about celebrating Easter too. For me, Easter used to be a joyfully exuberant time to praise God and the last two years have been anything but that on Easter Sunday. To that end, this year, I just did what I needed to do and tried not to focus on what I am "supposed" to feel or be. It didn't make it more joyful for me, but it was a little less excruciating. Thank you for this post. It was a good reminder for me to not put so much pressure on myself in the coming months.

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    1. So sorry you have triggers as well. I am learning to live with the trauma instead of fighting off the memory constantly. My calendar is replete with triggers! I've learned to ask for God's help and then honor myself. He doesn't want me to be re-injured to satisfy some tradition. He wants me to believe in Him and love.
      Blessings to you on your journey.

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  2. Thanks for sharing. Isn't it weird that holidays, that are supposed to be happy, can bring pain, frustration, and anxiety more than other days? I think it is the higher than usual expectation that everything is going to be perfect, when it rarely is. I pray you have relief today and a restful weekend.

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