Friday, September 19, 2014

Hold

I hold tight to my feelings. It's a lesson learned long ago, but reinforced time and time again.

Letting other people in can be painful, so it's better to just hold those feelings in and interact with others on the surface.

My needs and pain overwhelm me. Why would anyone else want to deal with them?

We are on a plane. I am cold. My husband is reading in the aisle seat. I will have to interrupt him to get a jacket from the overhead compartment.

I am cold. There is nothing to be done but try to wait it out. 

He looks at me and asks if I'm okay. I tell him I am cold. He immediately offers to get a jacket for me. Handing me the jacket, he asks, "Were you just going to be cold? Why didn't you tell me?"

I didn't want to bother him. To interrupt his reading. 

Why he asks. Is his reading more important than my discomfort?

I know the right answer is "no", but in my head (heart) the answer is still "yes". 

He smiles and laughs a bit as he covers me with his jacket. 

I hold the tweed jacket around me, smelling in his scent.




linking up with Five Minute Friday


2 comments:

  1. Such sadness here but such courage too. And the loving kindness of someone who sees your worth. So glad I found this through #FMF

    Juliet

    ReplyDelete
  2. I fight this as well. Even on counseling the fear of overwhelming kept me almost mute. It is a very common issue for many. In other words you are not alone.

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