:: because

I write about my experiences with abuse because I have to do it.

I'd like to be able to say it's altruistic. I write to help others, but that's not the primary reason. I write because it helps me get it out and keep it in perspective.

If I don't write (or talk) I fall back down that rabbit hole that leads to abuse driven crazy thinking. Because that's what abuse does to you. It makes you lose sight of reality. I lived in an alternate universe for a long time. Sometimes I forget about that reality issue, until I say something that makes sense in the other universe to someone who's never lived there. Then I get the deer in the headlights look from them, and I realize it isn't real. That interpretation is another "because" of the abuse.

So I write because it helps me. And in helping me I can only hope I'm helping someone else.


linking up with Five Minute Friday