I love the list. The orderliness of it all. I love seeing it all written out -- so easy to mark off as I accomplish each item.
A plan keeps me focused on the needs/wants of the day. It tells me what to do next.
But lately, execution has been my problem. I'm not sure what it is exactly. In the past a list was all I needed to get it done. Now it seems that the list has lost it's power, and I'm wondering if the list was just another "must do or else".
Part of healing from childhood sexual abuse has been getting away from the "or else" mentality. That's a good thing. A healthy thing. But I'm struggling with what takes its place. Like the demon possessed man, I've got an empty spot and I need to fill it with something new, healthy, better.
So I'm rethinking my plan, and what drives it. I'm trying to find positive motivation for doing all the things on my list -- the housework and cooking and exercise and even fun things.
Maybe I need a plan for that.
linking up with Five Minute Friday
I like making plans to. Having a to do list where you can check things off and see what has been accomplished energies me. I hope you find the motivation you need for execution. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI also love marking through the items on my to do list. Must be the sense of accomplishment. I've had rough spots too where the execution part was hard for some reason or another. Once I cleaned the top of my dryer only to find a old to do list with clean top of dryer written on the list.:) Thankful for your continual healing and awareness of what types of thoughts to avoid. Maybe you could write down at the end of the day all that you were able to do where you felt God's calling and prayerfully give that list to the Lord.
ReplyDelete"But I'm struggling with what takes its place. Like the demon possessed man, I've got an empty spot and I need to fill it with something new, healthy, better." Hey, sis, this really preaches. What a great realization. xo
ReplyDeleteOh yes... I love your honesty here! I am in a season of rest... and one that requires greater trust... less productivity on the outside, and some days I long for the bossy to do lists and the things I have to show for my day! Still... I follow His lead!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are in a new phase of healing. Hurray and oh, no! Now you'll be coming up with new ways of relating with yourself and your world.
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That is what I am doing, but I am coming to terms with routines. They are what's needed and healthy for me, but I resist them for various reasons.
Good luck and God-bless us both on our journey. ;)
Great readinng
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