Thankful Thursday -- February 10, 2011

Still thinking about and working on this idea of soul level gratitude

So for this week anyway here's my list:

1. I am grateful for good conversation with my dd. We are still finding our way in this new territory of healing and medication. She is doing really well with her school work and taking care of herself physically and emotionally. I am learning about standing up for myself and being straight forward with her; believing that I will not cause her to make bad choices.

2. I am grateful for taking a stand for myself recently, while setting reasonable boundaries. I have signed on with a personal trainer to try and take better care of myself. I met with her and explained my history; my need to be in control of what we do; my need to be able to say "No" and have there be no yelling or forcing; my desire to be healthy, not skinny and svelte (not that I would turn down skinny and svelte!). I've worked out with her three times now. I did everything she asked the first day. The second day I had to slow the pace on the treadmill because I tend to get shin splints. Yesterday I started the work out by telling her we had to tone it down a bit. Just because I could do what she asked didn't mean it was in my best interest. Remarkably she was fine with that and no crises resulted.

3. I am grateful for my friends. Now this may not sound like soul level gratitude, but I think it is. Lately I've been spending regular time with 2 life long friends. Linda is my best friend of all time. She knows everything about me and still likes me. I can say anything to her and she remains my friend. She takes no guff from me, however.  We have been friends since I was 15. Keith and I have known each and been friends since 2nd grade. I don't know why or how it happened, but we clicked from day one. He is wonderfully talented, loving and creative. And possibly one of the most compassionate people I have ever known. Friends like these are not to be taken lightly or for granted. I am blessed by having them in my life.

4. I am grateful for anger. Now this may seem like an odd thing to be grateful for, but there is a good reason. For years my therapist, husband and close friends have encouraged me to feel appropriate anger toward those who abused me. "Anger is an appropriate response to being dishonored" -- I think that's the line. 

Anger is appropriate when you are on the receiving end of a series of hard knocks through no fault of your own. Read the Psalms. There you’ll frequently read the angry response of a man of God whose life is being threatened by those who are up to no good. As an example consider Psalm 64:1-4—  “Hear me, O God, as I voice my complaint; protect my life from the threat of the enemy. Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from that noisy crowd of evil doers, who sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows. They shoot from the innocent man; they shoot at him suddenly without fear.” It sounds to me like that fellow is pretty upset and he’s letting God know about it. HEARTLIGHT Magazine

So for today, I am grateful to be getting in touch with my appropriate anger, but I pray that God will keep me where He wants me to be regarding what I do with that anger.

5. Finally, I am grateful for learning not to be afraid of honesty. I value honesty above almost everything else. Perhaps because of all the secrets I was forced to keep for so many years. It is imperative to me to be "pathologically honest", and I expect the same from people I deal with. 

They were also to stand every morning to thank and praise the LORD. They were to do the same in the evening . . .

-- I Chronicles 23:30

Look for more Thankful Thursday post @ Women Taking a Stand