Thankful Thursday . . . Again

I used to participate in this meme every week, but I slowly got out of the habit. Recently I've been thinking about it again. Maybe it's because it's just a good idea to set aside a specific time to focus on gratitude. Whatever the reason, here's mine for today.

I'm grateful for quiet time. Over and over again I am shown (thank you, Lord) how important quiet is for me. I spent a huge percentage of my young adult and early married years staying as busy as I possibly could. I thought I had to be busy to be a good Christian. It also was a form of escape. If I stayed busy enough I wouldn't have to face the demons lurking around in my head.

What I've since learned is that quiet is my friend. It allows me to focus and regroup. To organize what's really important and release all the detritus that not only does me no good, but actually harms me if it's left to hang around and stagnate.

Quiet time can take many forms. Sometimes it's time to do a simple devotional. I've been using Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals for the past 2 or 3 years and I really enjoy it.

Other times of quiet are spent doing intensive Bible study. I attend a weekly Precept Bible Class. The lessons require several hours of work each week, and are usually incredibly fulfilling. Spending that much time and effort in God's word is always a good thing.

I've attended several workshops on quiet through Dovehouse Ministries and found them to be hugely beneficial. Taking an entire weekend to be silent and spend time in the Word and meditation is a true gift.

All of these require a certain amount of planning and effort on my part which is good. It's good to be focused and intentional about quiet time, but it can also just become something else to put on the list and possibly feel guilty for not completing. Recently I ran across this image 

I realized it offered opportunities to easily incorporate quiet into my daily routine. I have one copy hanging in my laundry room and one on the refrigerator in my kitchen. I make it a point to read the list completely at least once a day.

So for today I am thankful for quiet time. The lessons I have learned from practicing quiet and the gift of quiet itself.

Blessings.


linking up with Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday #36

I've been having a difficult time putting thoughts into words lately.

A variety of things have interfered -- dd has been sick for 2 weeks and the doctor can't quite figure it out. Our router died 10 days ago which meant I lost my writing mojo for a few days, and I'm having trouble getting back into the routine. I started a new "schedule" for myself that moved my writing time from morning to evening. Apparently that is a very bad idea! So, all that to say I'm not sure what to say this morning.

I am thankful! Don't misunderstand, I'm just a little boggled. That happens to all of us sometimes. I don't think it's just me. I need to take a little time to stop and breathe and rest. Thinking and planning and doing are all great things, necessary things, but so are stopping and breathing and resting. So that's what I'm doing today. I'm stopping and breathing and resting and listening for God to lead me to the next what and how. I am trusting. And I am so grateful to have a God/Father who will provide.

Blessings!

linking up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #35

I've been thinking about other Christians a lot lately -- not individually, but collectively. I was talking with a young woman who is struggling with faith and what to believe, and how often she's been let down by those professing Christianity. I reminded her to read the Bible to learn the true character of God. We can learn only so much from other Christians about God. Yes, we are made His image, and yes, we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world, but we are imperfect representations. Other Christians will let us down, and we will let them down.

The flip side of this dilemma is our need for "skin-on" God relationships. We need, even crave, interaction with others who bring God into our lives through touch, talk, action, and prayer. I see so many wounded people who seem compelled to handle it all by themselves. I understand. I was there once. It is a scary thing to show your need and vulnerability to others, but oh what a blessing it can be!

I have a quote hanging on my refrigerator --

Time heals only those wounds

 that are shared and understood.

My husband put it this way --

Isn't it odd how if you're not 

feeling emotionally well

 and you need to talk to people, 

you don't want to talk to people. 

So, if you don't want to talk to anyone, 

just want you to know, I'm there for you.

I challenge you today to do 2 things. Open yourself up to share and understand (not solve) someone else's pain, and thank someone who's been there for you. If you haven't tried sharing, I strongly encourage you to, because you might just be surprised.

linking up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #34

I am a slow learner. God keeps teaching me the same lesson over and over again.

I understand, accept, and apply for a while, and then I forget and panic and become frightened again.

Remind you of anyone else? Israel, the chosen people of God?

And as I type that I see the irony in it. 

I am chosen by God, and yet I have such a difficult time holding onto His promises. Resting in His peace. Trusting in His faithfulness.

I am reminded of these words:

O, for a faith that will not shrink,
Though pressed by every foe,
That will not tremble on the brink
Of any earthly woe!

That will not murmur nor complain
Beneath the chastening rod,
But, in the hour of grief or pain,
Will lean upon its God.

A faith that shines more bright and clear
When tempests rage without;
That when in danger knows no fear,
In darkness feels no doubt.

That bears, unmoved, the world’s dread frown
Nor heeds its scornful smile;
That seas of trouble cannot drown,
Nor Satan’s arts beguile.

A faith that keeps the narrow way
Till life’s last hour is fled,
And with a pure and heavenly ray
Lights up a dying bed.

Lord, give me such a faith as this,
And then, whate’er may come,
I’ll taste, e’en here, the hallowed bliss
Of an eternal home.

Lord, give me a faith like this. Thank you for your unwavering patience and love. Forgive me when I fail to see You as You truly are.

With gratitude.

linking up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #33

I've written several posts lately about some tough family issues. I've been dealing with the lasting effects of childhood sexual abuse for years, and often I feel that I should be able to put it in the past. What I forget is that the abuse is in the past, but the effects linger long after the final episode is finished.

This week I've found myself on a roller coaster ride of mood swings. I've been happily aware of the wonderful life I have on one day, and deep in depressive despair over the state of extended family relationships on the next.

Yesterday while finishing up my Bible study I ran across this quote from Thomas a Kempis:

Endeavor to be always patient of the faults and imperfections 

of others for you have many faults and imperfections 

of your own that require forbearance. 

If you are not able to make yourself what 

you wish, how can you expect to mold 

another in conformity to your will?

And I wonder how patient I am will the faults and imperfections of others. 

The other day I saw this quote:

Don't judge me because my sin

is different that yours.

It made me stop and think about how frustrated I can become with other people. 

I'm struggling right now to accept some things I'm not going to be able to change, and apparently God's not planning on changing them either. So how do I go about my daily life remembering to be loving toward those whose faults and imperfections I have trouble understanding simply because they are different than mine?

For me it all comes back to love. Verses like Deuteronomy 6:5

Love the Lord your God with all your heart 

and with all your soul and with all your strength.

and Mark 12:29-31:

"The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.”

and James 2:8:

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your 

neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.

So today I find myself feeling gratitude for a heavenly Father who gives me constant reminders that His overwhelming desire is that we all love one another. 

And by doing that, I am doing right.

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #32

Today we take our ds to college. I am excited for all of us. He is embarking on the next step in his life journey and we get to continue to be part of his growth and development.
It's a little cheesy, but I wanted to do something to honor him.

S is for his smile which makes me happy.
A is for his amusing personality.
M is for his musical ability. 
U is for his unique perspective on things.
E is for his empathetic heart.
L is for the laughter he brings to my life.

Today I am thankful for the past 19 years I've had living with Sam everyday. I know it will be a challenge letting him head out on his own, but I am proud of the man he is becoming and know that this is just a new path in our lives.

I love you, Sam.

Thank you, God, for the gift of my son.

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #31

Good morning, all!

It's another Thankful Thursday, which means we've made it through another week. Yay!

I'm still in list mode, so here goes. I am thankful for:
:: my reboot of Bible study. I kind of fell of the wagon for a few days. It is amazing what a difference just a little time in the Word and prayer makes in my attitude!
:: my bff's from high school. LBB, CCD, and KFH for your help and kind comments over the past couple of days. I am counting on you to get me through the fallout!
:: my minister for a really uplifting lesson on Sunday, and thanks for omitting the full-size casket!
:: for the ability to express myself in words. I wrote a really difficult letter this week. I was able to express things in the letter I have never been able to express verbally. I pray that it will be received as it is intended.
:: cooler weather! We are having unseasonably pleasant weather for August around here. It was 55 degrees when my alarm went off this morning at 7am. The cooler temps make everything more palatable. 

So there's my list. How about yours?

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #30

I am thankful for -

:: sunshine peeking through clouds

:: the quiet in my house this morning

:: God reminding me that this world is not my home

:: my personal retreat earlier in the week

:: having too much stuff

:: selling our van

:: tiny blueberry scones

:: my church family that pulls together and supports people in need

:: friends in real life and friends in the computer

:: beauty for ashes

What about you?

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #28

Thankfulness.

There is always something to be thankful for.

Sometimes it's hard to put my finger on it.

For me, a list helps me regain focus when things are tough.

It's been busy around my house to say the least for the past couple of weeks.

So here's my Thankful Thursday list:

:: so grateful to have the colonoscopy over with. All went well, but it was stressful for me, not to mention the physical drain of the testing.

:: I really enjoyed getting to have 2 days with Sam as we went to his university student orientation on Monday and Tuesday.

:: I am thankful for being home with no pressing plans for this Thursday. I need a day to play catch up!

:: finally, I will be thankful to get back into my routine over the next few days.

One requests, Sam is traveling home from Atlanta on Friday. May I ask for your prayers for traveling mercies for him? Thank you for being part of my Thankful Thursday.

Blessings!

linking up with Laurie at Women Taking a Stand

Thankful Thursday #27

It's Thankful Thursday, and it's also Colonoscopy Prep Day! Woo-hoo! 

Okay, maybe I'm not that excited, but I am thankful to have good health insurance that allows me to get a check-up and preventative testing like this done. 

I will be drinking disgusting stuff all day and part of tomorrow. Around lunch time tomorrow (while I'm still not eating!) my dear husband will be taking me to the medical center where I will sleep, blissfully unaware, while the doctors and nurses do the procedure. When it's all done and I'm coherent enough, dh will take me home, feed me, and probably laugh at how loopy I am.

All joking aside, I know one young mother who is dying of colon cancer and I have another friend (48) who had surgery earlier this week for Stage 3 colon cancer. He got good news from his pathology reports -- it's only Stage 1.

So today I'm thankful for the opportunity to have this testing done, but I think I'll be more thankful on Saturday.

Blessings!

linking up with Laurie at Women Taking a Stand

Thankful Thursday, #26

"Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' 

Into the future"

This is the song that came to mind this morning as I sat down to write. 

Today is July 12th -- over a third of July has been completed, and it feels as if July just started!

The speed with which time passes is directly proportional to my age. I know that. I've watched time move faster and faster as I've aged, but every now and then I am awed once again by the pace.

The passage of time is an excellent reminder to stop and take the time to be grateful.

I like the term grateful better than thankful. Thankful means "conscious of benefit received". Grateful, on the other hand, means "appreciative of benefits received." I want to be appreciative, not just conscious of my blessings. I may be splitting hairs here, but that's nothing new with me!

So for today I'm going to work on being grateful for:

-- another rainy day, which we desperately need

-- having so many people underfoot in the house (and remembering this the next time I'm feeling lonely)

-- having too much stuff

-- good friends who won't complain tomorrow night when the house isn't perfectly clean

So what are grateful for today?

Blessings!

join Laurie at Women Taking a Stand for TT

Thankful Thursday #25

I missed last Thursday.
Last week was a mixed bag. Some familial struggles with the parental units -- an ongoing issue.
Busy prep for Alan and me to be away for a marriage training seminar -- which brought some stress and anxiety with it.
And the old standard for me -- summer is full of triggers and reminders of bad times.
So what do I find myself thankful for this Thursday?
:: a better perspective on family struggles. I can't change another person's understanding. I can only provide information. What they choose to to with it is out of my hands.
:: that the seminar went better than I could have ever expected!
:: and memories and triggers aren't my fault, nor do they mean I've failed in healing and moving on. They are simply a reality of the abuse I survived. I can work on handling them, but I can't make them disappear.
I learned a valuable lesson last week. We all know that words can wound deeply, but I found out that words can heal deeply as well. It's not really new information, but I felt it work in a way I'd never experienced. And for that I am truly thankful.


Blessings!


join Laurie at Women Taking a Stand for TT

Thankful Thursday #24

" A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."
-- Arabian Proverb

This week I am thankful for friends. True friends. (Which for some reason just made me think of Peter Cook's line in "Princess Bride" -- mawwage!

)

But I digress. Back to friends.

I've poured out a lot of grain and chaff lately. Much of it has been redundant (perhaps ad nauseum), but it has been received with such depth and insight (as one friend commented). I have been blessed with kind and loving words. Helpful and uplifting scriptures (although there was one amusing typo), and untold prayers. 

I am blessed beyond measure in these friends, both old and new. 

So today finds me lifting my hands in adoration of God -- the Father, the Son, and the Spirit -- who has provided for me in ways I could never have imagined. These friends, who have held me up for so long and provided directions and encouragement on this arduous journey, are tangible, skin-on evidence of God's love for me.

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #23

Iris mentioned going through valleys in her Thankful Thursday post today. I know what she means. I've been going through a valley lately, and I think I'm coming out on the other side. It's hard letting go of deep desires, but it is also gratifying to see how God works through His Word, other Christians, and in my heart to lead me through difficulties.
Today I'm thankful for:
1. God's Word and lessons I have learned from it in the past week. I have been dwelling in Proverbs chapter 1. Reading it in The Message has helped me focus on bowing down to God at all times, especially when I'm facing difficult choices (thank you, Kathy, for taking my there!).
2. My husband. He has taken it on his shoulders to carry a huge portion of this recent burden, leaving me in a better position to listen to God, my "support staff", and to take better care of myself. He is my white knight in this situation. I praise God for bringing him into my life and allowing us the opportunity to learn and grow together.
3. My "support staff". This is made up all the people I have shared my story with over the years who have stood by me through it all. I have learned through this latest valley to seek them out and share what it truly in my heart. It has been a difficult lesson, this learning to trust, by I am so grateful for the benefit I have received, especially in the past week.

Start with God—the first step in learning is bowing down to God;
only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning. 

Proverbs 1:7 The Message

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #22

It's time for the Thankful Thursday gratitude list:

1. My boys will be home tomorrow! They have been on a 2 week wander in the great West. I have chatted with them most days, but I really can't wait to see them and hug them and have really good, long talks with them.
2. Dd and I have had a lovely time together doing what we like -- manicures and pedicures, massages, facials, shopping, watching movies and tv, and sleeping late!
3. I am so grateful that I have made it through this 2 week interval without too much anxiety and stress. I do not like having my people away from home, and am especially happy that I got some sleep on the one night I had to stay all alone.
4. Dd and I took our dogs to the vet this morning for their annual check-ups, and I am happy to report that they are both doing quite well. This is a big relief after having to put Etta down just a few weeks ago.
5. Finally, I am grateful for the time and effort I have been putting forth on my writing. I am beginning to see myself as a writer more and more. I have worked hard to let myself enjoy this outlet, and I am finally getting to the point of happiness with much less stress about it.


I hope you are all having a beautiful Thankful Thursday and find much for which to be grateful.


Blessings!

link up at Women Taking a Stand

Thankful Thursday #21

Thursday comes, but once a week, however sometimes with Thankful Thursday it feels more frequent. Perhaps that is just the faster passing of time that comes with age, or perhaps it is a greater awareness created from marking the days more deliberately.


This Thursday finds me in pain -- pain of my own making. Whoever said "50 is the new 30" didn't think about weeding! I spent about 20 minutes in the front flower bed on Monday, and have been paying for it in spades ever since. 


There is, however, much good news. I had plenty of Tylenol, Advil, and Excedrin in my house. My dd is home a lot, and has been generous with her time, energy, and concern. I have a wonderful soaking tub with air jets, and best of all I have a massage scheduled for this afternoon.


As always difficulties make me more keenly aware of gratitude. My back hurting is no fun, and I haven't really been "a brave little soldier" about it, but I am so blessed by all the things mentioned above. I am so blessed to not have this as an ongoing problem, just a temporary irritant. I do not work outside the home, so there have been no lost wages, and finally, dh and ds are on vacation out west, so it's just dd and me here at home, and we require very little!


So while the pain is less than fun, I am again reminded of blessings and gratitude -- to be thankful in whatever state I find myself.


Blessings!

link up at Women Taking a Stand

Thankful Thursday #20

My son graduates from high school on Saturday.
How did that happen!?!
I just found out I was pregnant. That he was a boy. I just spent those weeks in the hospital trying to hold on to him. He was just born.
We just survived the constant crying. The early tube placement to ease the pain and hearing loss.
We just finished speech therapy.
Didn't we just finish pre-school and kindergarten and grade school?
Weren't we just homeschooling yesterday? And playing soccer?
Wait didn't we just start high school?
What do you mean he's driving? Dating?
He's 18! How did that happen?
We started his senior year . . . wasn't that just yesterday?
He's graduating?


Thank you, God for giving me this tiny being who has grown into this wonderful young man. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to mother him, and forgive me for all the wrong steps I took with him. Thank you for your grace!


Thank you, Sam for being my son and letting me be your mom. It's a joyous part of my life. I know it doesn't end (thankfully!), but it does change. Don't leave me too far behind, ok? I'm always here for you, but remember I need you just as much as you need me. I love you.

link up at Women Taking a Stand

Thankful Thursday #18

Gratitude comes in many shapes and sizes. Recently I have been participating in Ann Voskamp's monthly Joy Dare, and the process has made me more aware (most days) of the need to find gratitude in all things.

For today I share a list of things I am thankful for, but they are difficult to share.

1. A quote to help me in my relationship with my parents:

"It isn't that they can't see the solution. 

It is that they can't see the problem." 

- G.K. Chesterton

2. Opportunities to learn about accepting validation and praise.


3. New realizations and the courage to share them here.


4. The birth of a baby who may only live a few short days.


5. A comment made: "you are strong, courageous, brave, and spiritual. you are suffering."

What hard things are you grateful for today?

"If a man had no more to do

with God than to be thankful,

that would suffice"

Meister Eckhart

link up at Women Taking a Stand

Thankful Thursday #17

This morning I am reminded of a quote from the movie Chocolat.

Do I want to speak of the miracle... 

of our Lord's divine transformation? 

Not really, no. 

I don't want to talk about His divinity. 

I'd rather talk about His humanity. 

Because that's how I'm feeling this morning. I want to have something remarkable to share . . . something that speaks of the wonder and awe of God and His relationship with us. But I just don't have it this morning.

What I do have are the recurring questions about relationships and what God's will is regarding one in particular.

I have broken off communication with some family members. Since doing that, I have felt more peace in many ways, but I find myself questioning whether or not my peace/happiness is a fair trade-off for whatever pain/anger they may be feeling. 

So once more today, I find myself grateful for the lessons I have learned about the compassion and humanity of our Father. He understands my feelings, of that I am sure. I am reminded that He is my Father to whom I may bring every problem, struggle, and joy. He never tires of listening to me, and His deepest desire is what is best for me. 

Questions may linger. Adjustments may need to be made. People are changelings, but God is constant. And I am so grateful for that today.

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #15

After a week of depression, sadness, anxiety, and generally bad feelings, yesterday was a turn around.


One of my favorite bloggers, Inner Pickle, commented about me on her blog and even posted a link! I was so excited when I realized that I was the "Melanie" to whom she was referring. What a neat feeling to be read by someone I love to read.


Wednesday is counseling day, and we worked some more on a very difficult episode of abuse. I came away from the session with some good realizations: I did fight back and I wasn't weak, I just did what I had to do and I used the best judgment I had at that moment. We also spent some time talking about the benefit of this blog. It has helped me so much to have a forum from which to share on a regular basis.


Finally, as I was preparing dinner, I jumped online again to see if I had any new comments, and I did. From another site that I've been silently stalking, Imperfect Prose, Emily liked what I had written on Easter Sunday.


Validation is something I crave, and over the years I have gotten very little. To have other people, strangers, comment positively on my inner most thoughts and feelings is amazingly empowering for me.


So today, as I said on Sunday, I find myself with gratitude in my heart. But unlike Sunday, I am also feeling joy. Another reminder of the continuing love and grace from my Father above, often bestowed by His children here on earth. 


Blessings and peace.
link up at Grace Alone