And He's 20

(photo by Alan Pennington)


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The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY . . . July 9, 2013

Outside my window . . . we have sunny blue skies with a temperature of 78 degrees. The humidity is already on the rise.

I am thinking . . . about this day 20 years ago. After spending nearly 3 weeks in the hospital, my son arrived at 5 am 5 weeks premature. He weighed in at 5 lbs. 13 oz. I was quite sick with pre-eclampsia and stayed in intensive care for a full day after he was born. Thankfully we both survived and fully recovered.

I am thankful . . . for my ds and all the joy he brings into my life. My dh wrote this about him today --

Today my little boy turns 20. He's not a rowing champion or a chess master nor did he win a decathlon. He's not a Rhode's scholar but I wouldn't trade all that for his heart of compassion, his gift of music and wonderful sense of humor (among other things). Per his teachers at graduation, the 3 words that best describe Sam are hilarious, visionary and spiritual. What an amazing person. Love you Sam and very proud of who you are. 

Happy bday!

In the kitchen . . . I'll be baking Bananas Foster Upside-Down Cake later today for his celebration this evening

I am wearing . . . my cotton batiste gown and an old denim shirt that belonged to my FIL.

I am creating . . . my first amigurumi. Still working on it. It's going to be bigger than the pattern but I figure I'm learning. (For some reason this type of crocheting is quite intimidating to me. It could be my perfectionist tendencies. I'm using this pattern so it's very simple.)

I am going . . . to meet my brother's new wife and children this morning. They live in New Mexico and are home for the first time since getting married in May. I have new nieces and another nephew.

I am wondering . . . about these words -- truth, integrity, peace, salvation, word of God.

I am reading . . . Joyland by Stephen King, and I'm listening to The Girl with No Shadow by Joanne Harris. It's the sequel to Chocolat, a personal favorite (along with the movie!).

I am looking forward to . . . an upcoming get-away with dh in August. Back to Cozumel!

I am hearing . . . peace and quiet.

Around the house . . . we are making good progress in getting my FIL's things assimilated into our home.

I am praying . . . for my children as they move into the next phase of their lives. Dd will finish college this summer. Ds is turning 20 which is a milestone in and of itself.

One of my favorite things . . . is my morning ritual of tea and computer time. I do my blog, check Facebook and emails, and then go to Feedly to see what's happening in the blogosphere.

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . celebrating with ds tonight, getting back into an exercise routine, more home improvements, reading, crocheting, and sewing.

Here are pictures for thought I am sharing . . . 

happy 20th to my dear son!

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Summertime Eating

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and 

Names

As a teenager I kept a little book where I wrote down potential names for my future children. It never really occurred to me that my future husband might not like those names. Names that had good associations for me, like Ross (long before Friends) reminded him instead of the jerk from high school.

After we married, I kept an eye and ear out for names. I didn't really have many family names I was interested in using, and I didn't want my kids to have the same name as 5 other kids in the class.

I'm a librarian by profession. One day as I sat at my computer cataloging a title, I flipped open the book and saw the dedication page. To Claire and Sam. What lovely, real names. They struck a chord with me. I couldn't get those names out of my head. I needed a Claire and a Sam. But what if I didn't have a girl and a boy?

Later when I got pregnant the first time, I casually threw out Claire as a possible name. Nonchalantly. Just an idea. My husband said, "My grandmother's name was Clara." And I thought, "So's my dad's half-sister. I said CLAIRE." Over time it was settled. If the baby was a girl she'd be Claire. I'd already dreamed she was a girl with red hair, so I knew we were good.

So I got my Claire. But what about Sam?

Later when I got pregnant again, we decided to find out the sex. When they told me it was a boy, I thought "Sam".
Again that nonchalant suggestion. Even throwing out that it was a family name on my side -- temporary, pregnancy induced insanity making me forget that the family Samuel had been an incestuous, kidnapping murderer!

So he was Sam from the moment laying on the ultra sound exam table. Which was a good/bad thing when we nearly lost him. And a really good thing when he was born ridiculously healthy, but 5 weeks premature.

So that's how I got my Claire and Sam. I used to think that was kind of a pathetic story. I named my kids from the dedication page from a book I can't even remember the title or who wrote it. But now I think God was giving me a little message. Some hope that I was going to need down the road.

linking up with Writer's Workshop

Wordless Wednesday -- Boy and Dog

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Transitions

Yesterday afternoon, I put my son and husband on a plane to fly out west. They'll be gone for two weeks visiting wonderful destinations like Devil's Tower, the Grand Canyon, Sequoia National Park, and Mount Rushmore. They will hike, climb (Devil's Tower!), rappel, and have lots of time together just the two of them. I am very happy that they'll have this time to make memories that will, as the saying goes, last a lifetime.


On the other hand -- this is longest I've been away from my husband since before our children were born. I've never been a way from my son for this long. It's an odd sensation. I know they'll be fine, and it's not as if we are cut off from each other given that we all have easy access to cell phones, Skype, Facebook, and email, but last night as my daughter and I prepared to go to bed, the house just seemed too big and dark and quiet. Where was my husband laying out his early morning work out clothes? Where were the sounds of X-box emanating from my son's room? And all that pre-bed chatter? 


Claire and I have lots of fun things planned for the two weeks they'll be gone, and I have lots of ideas (too many probably) of great things to be accomplished while they're gone. But I had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep last night, because things were not as they should be.


Maybe this is a good training period for the fall when my son goes off to college. A good test run to see how I'll fair without his laughter, chatter, and even annoyance and anger around the house on a daily basis.


Then again, maybe I could homeschool him for college.

Graduation

Happy Graduation, Sam!

5 Minute Friday: Perspective

Time requires perspective.
Perspective requires time.
He is 18, almost 19.
He is 6 feet tall.
He is strong, slender, and beautiful.
He is my son.
Whoever said a mother's love is a dangerous thing was right.
I would do anything to protect him.
I would run in front of a speeding truck and gladly take the hit, just to know he's okay.
He graduates from high school tomorrow.
I'm okay with that. I've still got him for the summer.
But in the fall he leaves my home. It's possible that this will never be his everyday home again.
I know this is the way of things. I want this for him -- his own life, adventures, struggles, joys.
What I don't want is him gone.
From my perspective, once I left home it was never the same.
I didn't want to go back.
Does he feel that way?
Will he come back?
It's different than it was for me. He knows he can tell me anything.
He knows he can tell me how I annoy him. He knows I'll listen.
I didn't have that.
It's just that I'm going to miss his "being" in the house. His heavy steps and joie de vivre.
Time and perspective.
Perspective and time.

link up at The Gypsy Mama

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

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Thankful Thursday #20

My son graduates from high school on Saturday.
How did that happen!?!
I just found out I was pregnant. That he was a boy. I just spent those weeks in the hospital trying to hold on to him. He was just born.
We just survived the constant crying. The early tube placement to ease the pain and hearing loss.
We just finished speech therapy.
Didn't we just finish pre-school and kindergarten and grade school?
Weren't we just homeschooling yesterday? And playing soccer?
Wait didn't we just start high school?
What do you mean he's driving? Dating?
He's 18! How did that happen?
We started his senior year . . . wasn't that just yesterday?
He's graduating?


Thank you, God for giving me this tiny being who has grown into this wonderful young man. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to mother him, and forgive me for all the wrong steps I took with him. Thank you for your grace!


Thank you, Sam for being my son and letting me be your mom. It's a joyous part of my life. I know it doesn't end (thankfully!), but it does change. Don't leave me too far behind, ok? I'm always here for you, but remember I need you just as much as you need me. I love you.

link up at Women Taking a Stand

{this moment}

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