I experiment a lot. Constantly trying new methods to organize my time and space for the maximum return value. Always looking for the best way to use my time and resources. It sounds like a good plan to maximize my opportunities.
Over time I have come to believe I've made that maximization the end result, rather than a stepping stone to improve my life.
It's a recurring issue for perfectionists. If I can find the right plan, the right notebook, the right filing system, the right pen . . . If, if, if. I can get so caught up in the planning, testing, experimenting that I lose sight of the goal. To live my best life. To be the person I want to be. To create.
Recently, I had a brief unplanned experiment. When woke up I realized I had nowhere to be that day. I had no one depending on me for anything. The day was truly mine. I briefly thought about getting up and making a to-do list but stopped myself. This day could truly be about me. Of course, there were things that would need to be addressed throughout the day, but mostly it was my day to use as I saw fit.
It was terrifying. But only momentarily. I realized it was up to me if I got up of stayed in bed a bit longer. It was up to me if I showered and dressed and then got my tea or vice versa. I felt myself smiling at this thought - first, laughing at myself a bit, and then later with joy at the idea of it all.
On that day here is what I did:
- had tea and boiled eggs
- talked with my son and his friends
- talked with daughter on the phone
- showered and got dressed
- boiled the remains of a rotisserie chicken for stock and chicken to make into a salad
- baked an apple dump cake because I had apples that needed to be used
- wrote a blog post
- participated in an online photo challenge
- crocheted
- listened to a podcast
- searched for documentaries to watch
- watched an episode of 2 shows on Netflix
- cleaned the kitchen
- cooked dinner for the 3 of us
- played on my iPad
- handled a couple work issues (not my fave, but things happen)
- stayed up too late playing on my phone and watching Netflix
As I look back at the day, I see things I would have characterized as "good" and "worthwhile". I see some creativity. I see some "wasted" time. But mostly what I see is a day that is representative of who I am. Every day doesn't provide a complete picture of me and that's okay.
So I will continue to experiment with what I want my days to include or exclude. I will work on accepting each day for what it brings, accomplishes, and allows. And I realize that there is no need to be so judgmental of myself because this is where I am right now. At this moment in time. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Yes! It’s good to break with routine (especially for those of us who get too tied to it). Congratulations on spending a day relaxing and experimenting with new things!
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