Purpose in a New Habit

I very excitedly jumped on the One Word bandwagon posting my word here on January 2nd. I set up a little tableau to help me remember my word for the year.

I've been keeping watch for my word and to be honest have been a bit bummed that I wasn't seeing it everywhere I turned.

I'm still recovering from a nasty infection that laid me low through most of the holidays, and have been waking up  coughing most nights. I have trouble getting back to sleep and have used numerous "tricks" over the years to lull myself back to sleep. 

I've also decided that this year I am going to tackle Ann Voskamp's memorization plan. I have avoided memorization for years -- telling myself I'm not any good at it; that rote memorization won't really help me; that I will fail at completing the goals I set up, leading to depression and more negative self-talk.

This morning I had an epiphany of sorts. The past two nights as I've been trying to get back to sleep, the verses for this week have come, unbidden, into my head. Without a plan or even a thought, I have begun reciting Romans 1:1-2. A gift? Soothing words of Scripture to ease me back to sleep. Proof that I am capable of doing this. That even though these particular verses are mostly informational, I am finding comfort in the realization that I am doing this -- can do this -- and it's not just rote memorization. I am comforted by these words:
1 Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God— 2 the gospel he promised beforehand through his prophets in the Holy Scriptures

And suddenly there is my word -- purpose. This memorization has a purpose in my life. It may be leading me to another purpose, or it may be THE purpose. I don't have to know the answer to that question right now.

What I do know is that He has a purpose for me, and this memorizing is part of His plan and my path for now.

linking up at One Word 365