Afraid
A word with which I am all too familiar.
My therapist asked me how did I used to feel, and I answered, "Afraid".
"Not all the time?" he queried.
"Yes all the time."
That was the first time I acknowledged it . . . out loud.
I was always afraid.
Afraid of what might happen.
Afraid of making a mistake.
Afraid of being misunderstood.
Afraid of being thought of as a liar.
Afraid - afraid - afraid.
That was also the first time I realized everybody didn't walk around this way.
Not everyone was afraid all the time.
I had good reason to be afraid.
Life is unpredictable, but it takes on a special aspect for the abused child.
Unpredictable equals dangerous.
Living with danger just around the corner breeds fear.
So by opening myself up to perfect love . . . God's love, and recognizing that what I was told was love, wasn't, I'm learning to drive out fear. To not be afraid.
And it's amazing what you can see and hear and feel when you aren't afraid.
linking up witn 5 minute friday
Perfect love . . . God's Love . . . His very presence drives fear away and fills us with faith and trust and more love.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this reminder of this Perfect Love.
Beautiful, heartbreaking post. Praise the Lord that He's showing you that His love is so deep and wide for you. Thank-you for the beautiful reminder of God's perfect love. So glad I made my way over from FMF! Blessings!
ReplyDelete~Sarah from http://sudryandspecific.wordpress.com/
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for making yourself vulnerable. Your courage will surely inspires others.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for the reminder that the cross frees us from fear. Praise God!
Beautiful. And such a hopeful, loving and courageous message. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Write on Edge.