My sister and I would go and visit them. If we stayed overnight we all slept in the big room in the attic. There were 2 double beds that faced each other from opposite walls. Auntie and my sister would sleep in the bed on the left while Uncle Horace and I would sleep on the right. I never felt as secure as when we were all tucked in for the night. Normally Auntie and Uncle Horace slept downstairs in their bedroom, but when we stayed they slept in the attic with us so we wouldn’t be scared.
Eventually they sold the house and moved to the country. Not long after that Auntie had a stroke and died. We all went to the funeral and I held onto Uncle Horace all day. When we returned to the house he marched straight back to their bedroom returning a few moments later carrying Auntie’s china doll. He carefully placed her in my arms and said, “She always said you were to have this. I gave her this doll before I went to fight in World War I.” I have treasured that doll and that memory ever since.
After that we didn’t see much of Uncle Horace. My parents apparently didn’t make the time to drive out to see him anymore which meant I couldn’t see him either. Later I heard he’d moved into a nursing home. Eventually I assumed he’d died.
A few years ago I went to visit their graves. I wanted to take a moment to let them know what they had meant to me. An oasis of love and acceptance in a childhood riddled with pain and fear. I placed flowers on their graves, and told them I loved them. That’s when I noticed Horace’s death date. He’d been alive when I married. He could have been at my wedding! I’ve worked hard to accept that I didn’t abandon him personally. I was a child and thus limited in what I could do. But I miss those opportunities I could have had with him to give and receive love and acceptance.
His is the first face I’ll look for in heaven.
linking up with Writer's Workshop
Oh, I am so sorry for your lost time with him. The pain of that is very clear here.
ReplyDeleteVery touching post. I can tell how much he meant to you.
ReplyDeleteYou really capture your emotions and feelings for him. You did well showing the love he had. Life has many regrets, I am sorry this is one you carry. And your blog...so pretty!!
ReplyDeleteVery nice tribute to your Uncle Horace.
ReplyDeleteYour words are heart-felt and inspiring; I regret the times I didn't spend learning more about my mother's childhood. There was much I DID know; but still much to have learned. There are photos I have not been able to identify - that my mother would have been able to help identify.
ReplyDeleteRegret? Yes, to an extent; but I know how hard it must have been to find out there could have been more time with your uncle. The words you shared and remember about him are a wonderful triubute to him.
Thanks for sharing!
Poignant, sad, and lovely all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteWow...thankful for you sharing about Horace. I have a feeling they both knew how much you loved them. So glad you have that china doll...what a sweet keepsake.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely story! I'm sure you meant the world to both of them. There are so many life events for which we might feel regret, but I believe that life happens exactly as it is supposed to. What a beautiful thing to say that you will be looking for him in Heaven. Thank you for sharing such a sweet story. Stopping by from Mama Kat's.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful way to honor his memory. Thanks for sharing this was so sweet and touched my heart. I guess you never realize how much of an impact you have on someone.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing to me how family shifts and changes after a death. My own Dad died and although all of his sisters and brother love us...I feel like a stranger around them. Between them and my own Mom I just don't feel like effort was made to keep us connected to his family and it's a shame. I had to fight that same blame game. Why didn't I ask to go visit them? Why didn't I reach out more when I was older and could drive? But ultimately...it's just life I suppose. What a beautiful little reminder you have of that friendship.
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