Wednesday, August 29, 2012

words

I wrote about it here.
I got a letter from each of them. Separately.

hers started out well enough. Apologies . . . with a "but" attached.
explanations. defense. blame?
I am hurt and angered . . . again.
I am tired. I am lost.
I did not expect to react so strongly. I got, in many ways, just what I predicted.
words . . . but where are the actions and emotions?

his was wonderfully written.
it's what he does.
even so, it felt more real. heartfelt?
there was a literature reference to be sure, but it applied.
he apologized.
no "buts".
no explanations, no defense, no blame.
I cried.
I want to believe.
words . . . but there have been words before.

I shared them with trusted friends, some who know them, some who don't.

several pointed out what I had initially missed. 
they skirt specificity.
they leave unanswered key questions I posed.

I am tired. 
the anger has drained away.
I question whether or not I want to continue this struggle.

when do I say enough?


4 comments:

  1. Bless you...sometimes we don't ever hear the words we want to and that's tough and makes moving on even harder. I do not know what you are struggling with, but I've prayed for God's peace over you.

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  2. It would be nice if others really acknowledged, recognized and asked forgiveness for the hurt done to us. Sometimes it never comes and we have to choose to not let the pain and bitterness keep us chained to them.

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  3. I think it's extremely rare for anyone to say what we want him or her to say, ever, in any circumstance. My husband and I were arguing just last night, and he said: "What do you want me to say?" And what a gift that question was, b/c I had a big fat answer, to be sure. I'm sorry, Friend, for all your pain and disappointment.

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  4. i am so glad you shared about this here mel. praying for you.

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