Sunday, October 19, 2014
It's one of those words that has shown up repeatedly in therapy. My therapist is always telling me to "honor" my feelings.
According to Webster, honor means "respect and esteem shown to another. Honor may apply to the recognition of one's right to great respect or to any expression of such recognition".
That's a hard word for me to apply to myself. Respect and esteem. That's a double whammy.
It's difficult to learn self-respect and self-esteem when you grown up being hurt and threatened. When you grow up hiding your own reality. When you grow up with a box of secrets tucked away in your head.
Like so much of healing from abuse, learning to honor my feelings has come oh so slowly. I have good days and bad days. I get confused and think I am being overbearing by stating my preferences. I assume anyone else's feelings/needs/wants are more important than my own.
And I come back time and time again to "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31; Lev. 19:18). If I'm going to love my neighbor, I'm going to have to start by loving (respecting, honoring, esteeming) myself.
Another biblical imperative that got lost in my translation.
linking up with 31 Days of Writing and 31 Days of Five Minute Writing