Saturday, October 18, 2014

House of Mess



It’s Saturday morning about halfway through the 31 day writing challenge.

I have a sinus infection that is making my head swim and the meds are making my stomach queasy.

My house is a disaster with dirty dishes and extra furniture sitting everywhere. I bought a few items from an estate sale. Normally this would be a fun chance to rearrange and reorganize, but with the sinus infection, it’s just one more mess.

The hubs and I had a good conversation last night about the way we communicate. You’d think after 29 years of marriage we’d have this down to a science, but we don’t. We still find ourselves struggling through the same disagreements we have had for all these years. Maybe I’m unrealistic, but I thought by now it wouldn’t be this way.

I’m still learning about me, and he’s still learning about him. We assume the other one is thinking the way we are, but assumptions are a very dangerous endeavor. I assume he thinks the worst of me, and he assumes I think the best of him. I remember in Technicolor detail some slights from the past that he has no memory of, while he remembers exactly where we were standing and his thought process just before he said that incredibly hurtful thing to me.

I’m working on that black and white mentality of mine, and he’s trying to really listen to what I say. I’m trying to let go of the fear I have in speaking my mind, and he’s trying to understand that his reactions have reinforced my fear.

We are a work in progress. We love each other, and we are good together, most of the time. But when sickness, stress, sleep deprivation, and messiness get in the way . . . anyone who’s married knows.

So I’m re-evaluating what I feel like doing and what really needs to be done. I’m looking at messes and reminding myself that this is one day. I’ll feel much better in a few more days and none of this will be nearly as difficult as it is right now.

Blessings from the house of mess this Saturday morning.



linking up with 31 Days of Writing


5 comments:

  1. Praying you feel better soon!!! Great that you are still growing together with your husband! Quite a journey in marriage but worth it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my word. Love this. I relate to you -- always sure that others (hubby included) think the worst. I think the worst (hence my own 31 days topic). So glad to hear you pressing into the mess, challenge and marriage. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think the best of my boyfriend and I suspect him of the same thing. Maybe I'm delusional, or maybe this is so only in the first years, but I like it this way and I will do my best to keep our relationship under a positive star. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Some days it is so hard. It's good to see how you are using the hard days to learn and grow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love your authenticity & so transparent!

    ReplyDelete

Please sign up as a follower to see comment replies.