Friday, October 17, 2014

Long


It's taken a long time. This learning it's okay to say what I want and how I feel. The abuse taught me early on that it didn't matter what I wanted. I didn't matter. Those feelings were reinforced living in an environment with people who didn't recognize the abuse. 

Over the past 14 years I've talked and written. I've cried and cursed. I've prayed and appeased. I've made world's of progress. I'm still not where I want to be or think I should be.

I'm hard on myself. It's taken me a long time to be able to say that. I'm so afraid that someone else will think I'm not doing enough that I don't respect and honor my own wants and wishes. Or talents and skills. I don't see myself as valuable. 

Slowly, I'm developing an appreciation for myself. Negating the idea that everything in the world is an "either/or" proposition. People are different. We all have different likes, dislikes, skills, and talents. I'm not right and you're not wrong. We're just different.

It's taken a long time, but that's okay.


linking up with Five Minute Friday and 31 Days of Writing





5 comments:

  1. Beautiful post. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story!

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  2. What an eloquent way to speak the truth, Melanie. I am a fellow survivor of abuse, and I appreciate the opportunity to be introduced to a fellow sister-in-strength.
    Love,
    Gracie

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  3. Isn't is wonderful that because we are all different we are more valuable and more loveable!

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  4. I love this practice of writing five minutes. Thank you for sharing.

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  5. Thanks so much for your honesty in sharing, Melanie - from a fellow-survivor. It does take a long time to heal, and it will always be a part of who we are. Praise God that His mercies and faithfulness are even longer - longer lasting, out lasting.
    Will be reading your blog with interest as I get the time.

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