Thankful Thursday . . . Again

I used to participate in this meme every week, but I slowly got out of the habit. Recently I've been thinking about it again. Maybe it's because it's just a good idea to set aside a specific time to focus on gratitude. Whatever the reason, here's mine for today.

I'm grateful for quiet time. Over and over again I am shown (thank you, Lord) how important quiet is for me. I spent a huge percentage of my young adult and early married years staying as busy as I possibly could. I thought I had to be busy to be a good Christian. It also was a form of escape. If I stayed busy enough I wouldn't have to face the demons lurking around in my head.

What I've since learned is that quiet is my friend. It allows me to focus and regroup. To organize what's really important and release all the detritus that not only does me no good, but actually harms me if it's left to hang around and stagnate.

Quiet time can take many forms. Sometimes it's time to do a simple devotional. I've been using Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals for the past 2 or 3 years and I really enjoy it.

Other times of quiet are spent doing intensive Bible study. I attend a weekly Precept Bible Class. The lessons require several hours of work each week, and are usually incredibly fulfilling. Spending that much time and effort in God's word is always a good thing.

I've attended several workshops on quiet through Dovehouse Ministries and found them to be hugely beneficial. Taking an entire weekend to be silent and spend time in the Word and meditation is a true gift.

All of these require a certain amount of planning and effort on my part which is good. It's good to be focused and intentional about quiet time, but it can also just become something else to put on the list and possibly feel guilty for not completing. Recently I ran across this image 

I realized it offered opportunities to easily incorporate quiet into my daily routine. I have one copy hanging in my laundry room and one on the refrigerator in my kitchen. I make it a point to read the list completely at least once a day.

So for today I am thankful for quiet time. The lessons I have learned from practicing quiet and the gift of quiet itself.

Blessings.


linking up with Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday #36

I've been having a difficult time putting thoughts into words lately.

A variety of things have interfered -- dd has been sick for 2 weeks and the doctor can't quite figure it out. Our router died 10 days ago which meant I lost my writing mojo for a few days, and I'm having trouble getting back into the routine. I started a new "schedule" for myself that moved my writing time from morning to evening. Apparently that is a very bad idea! So, all that to say I'm not sure what to say this morning.

I am thankful! Don't misunderstand, I'm just a little boggled. That happens to all of us sometimes. I don't think it's just me. I need to take a little time to stop and breathe and rest. Thinking and planning and doing are all great things, necessary things, but so are stopping and breathing and resting. So that's what I'm doing today. I'm stopping and breathing and resting and listening for God to lead me to the next what and how. I am trusting. And I am so grateful to have a God/Father who will provide.

Blessings!

linking up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #35

I've been thinking about other Christians a lot lately -- not individually, but collectively. I was talking with a young woman who is struggling with faith and what to believe, and how often she's been let down by those professing Christianity. I reminded her to read the Bible to learn the true character of God. We can learn only so much from other Christians about God. Yes, we are made His image, and yes, we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world, but we are imperfect representations. Other Christians will let us down, and we will let them down.

The flip side of this dilemma is our need for "skin-on" God relationships. We need, even crave, interaction with others who bring God into our lives through touch, talk, action, and prayer. I see so many wounded people who seem compelled to handle it all by themselves. I understand. I was there once. It is a scary thing to show your need and vulnerability to others, but oh what a blessing it can be!

I have a quote hanging on my refrigerator --

Time heals only those wounds

 that are shared and understood.

My husband put it this way --

Isn't it odd how if you're not 

feeling emotionally well

 and you need to talk to people, 

you don't want to talk to people. 

So, if you don't want to talk to anyone, 

just want you to know, I'm there for you.

I challenge you today to do 2 things. Open yourself up to share and understand (not solve) someone else's pain, and thank someone who's been there for you. If you haven't tried sharing, I strongly encourage you to, because you might just be surprised.

linking up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #34

I am a slow learner. God keeps teaching me the same lesson over and over again.

I understand, accept, and apply for a while, and then I forget and panic and become frightened again.

Remind you of anyone else? Israel, the chosen people of God?

And as I type that I see the irony in it. 

I am chosen by God, and yet I have such a difficult time holding onto His promises. Resting in His peace. Trusting in His faithfulness.

I am reminded of these words:

O, for a faith that will not shrink,
Though pressed by every foe,
That will not tremble on the brink
Of any earthly woe!

That will not murmur nor complain
Beneath the chastening rod,
But, in the hour of grief or pain,
Will lean upon its God.

A faith that shines more bright and clear
When tempests rage without;
That when in danger knows no fear,
In darkness feels no doubt.

That bears, unmoved, the world’s dread frown
Nor heeds its scornful smile;
That seas of trouble cannot drown,
Nor Satan’s arts beguile.

A faith that keeps the narrow way
Till life’s last hour is fled,
And with a pure and heavenly ray
Lights up a dying bed.

Lord, give me such a faith as this,
And then, whate’er may come,
I’ll taste, e’en here, the hallowed bliss
Of an eternal home.

Lord, give me a faith like this. Thank you for your unwavering patience and love. Forgive me when I fail to see You as You truly are.

With gratitude.

linking up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #33

I've written several posts lately about some tough family issues. I've been dealing with the lasting effects of childhood sexual abuse for years, and often I feel that I should be able to put it in the past. What I forget is that the abuse is in the past, but the effects linger long after the final episode is finished.

This week I've found myself on a roller coaster ride of mood swings. I've been happily aware of the wonderful life I have on one day, and deep in depressive despair over the state of extended family relationships on the next.

Yesterday while finishing up my Bible study I ran across this quote from Thomas a Kempis:

Endeavor to be always patient of the faults and imperfections 

of others for you have many faults and imperfections 

of your own that require forbearance. 

If you are not able to make yourself what 

you wish, how can you expect to mold 

another in conformity to your will?

And I wonder how patient I am will the faults and imperfections of others. 

The other day I saw this quote:

Don't judge me because my sin

is different that yours.

It made me stop and think about how frustrated I can become with other people. 

I'm struggling right now to accept some things I'm not going to be able to change, and apparently God's not planning on changing them either. So how do I go about my daily life remembering to be loving toward those whose faults and imperfections I have trouble understanding simply because they are different than mine?

For me it all comes back to love. Verses like Deuteronomy 6:5

Love the Lord your God with all your heart 

and with all your soul and with all your strength.

and Mark 12:29-31:

"The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.”

and James 2:8:

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your 

neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.

So today I find myself feeling gratitude for a heavenly Father who gives me constant reminders that His overwhelming desire is that we all love one another. 

And by doing that, I am doing right.

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #32

Today we take our ds to college. I am excited for all of us. He is embarking on the next step in his life journey and we get to continue to be part of his growth and development.
It's a little cheesy, but I wanted to do something to honor him.

S is for his smile which makes me happy.
A is for his amusing personality.
M is for his musical ability. 
U is for his unique perspective on things.
E is for his empathetic heart.
L is for the laughter he brings to my life.

Today I am thankful for the past 19 years I've had living with Sam everyday. I know it will be a challenge letting him head out on his own, but I am proud of the man he is becoming and know that this is just a new path in our lives.

I love you, Sam.

Thank you, God, for the gift of my son.

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #31

Good morning, all!

It's another Thankful Thursday, which means we've made it through another week. Yay!

I'm still in list mode, so here goes. I am thankful for:
:: my reboot of Bible study. I kind of fell of the wagon for a few days. It is amazing what a difference just a little time in the Word and prayer makes in my attitude!
:: my bff's from high school. LBB, CCD, and KFH for your help and kind comments over the past couple of days. I am counting on you to get me through the fallout!
:: my minister for a really uplifting lesson on Sunday, and thanks for omitting the full-size casket!
:: for the ability to express myself in words. I wrote a really difficult letter this week. I was able to express things in the letter I have never been able to express verbally. I pray that it will be received as it is intended.
:: cooler weather! We are having unseasonably pleasant weather for August around here. It was 55 degrees when my alarm went off this morning at 7am. The cooler temps make everything more palatable. 

So there's my list. How about yours?

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #30

I am thankful for -

:: sunshine peeking through clouds

:: the quiet in my house this morning

:: God reminding me that this world is not my home

:: my personal retreat earlier in the week

:: having too much stuff

:: selling our van

:: tiny blueberry scones

:: my church family that pulls together and supports people in need

:: friends in real life and friends in the computer

:: beauty for ashes

What about you?

linking up with Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #24

" A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."
-- Arabian Proverb

This week I am thankful for friends. True friends. (Which for some reason just made me think of Peter Cook's line in "Princess Bride" -- mawwage!

)

But I digress. Back to friends.

I've poured out a lot of grain and chaff lately. Much of it has been redundant (perhaps ad nauseum), but it has been received with such depth and insight (as one friend commented). I have been blessed with kind and loving words. Helpful and uplifting scriptures (although there was one amusing typo), and untold prayers. 

I am blessed beyond measure in these friends, both old and new. 

So today finds me lifting my hands in adoration of God -- the Father, the Son, and the Spirit -- who has provided for me in ways I could never have imagined. These friends, who have held me up for so long and provided directions and encouragement on this arduous journey, are tangible, skin-on evidence of God's love for me.

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #23

Iris mentioned going through valleys in her Thankful Thursday post today. I know what she means. I've been going through a valley lately, and I think I'm coming out on the other side. It's hard letting go of deep desires, but it is also gratifying to see how God works through His Word, other Christians, and in my heart to lead me through difficulties.
Today I'm thankful for:
1. God's Word and lessons I have learned from it in the past week. I have been dwelling in Proverbs chapter 1. Reading it in The Message has helped me focus on bowing down to God at all times, especially when I'm facing difficult choices (thank you, Kathy, for taking my there!).
2. My husband. He has taken it on his shoulders to carry a huge portion of this recent burden, leaving me in a better position to listen to God, my "support staff", and to take better care of myself. He is my white knight in this situation. I praise God for bringing him into my life and allowing us the opportunity to learn and grow together.
3. My "support staff". This is made up all the people I have shared my story with over the years who have stood by me through it all. I have learned through this latest valley to seek them out and share what it truly in my heart. It has been a difficult lesson, this learning to trust, by I am so grateful for the benefit I have received, especially in the past week.

Start with God—the first step in learning is bowing down to God;
only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning. 

Proverbs 1:7 The Message

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #17

This morning I am reminded of a quote from the movie Chocolat.

Do I want to speak of the miracle... 

of our Lord's divine transformation? 

Not really, no. 

I don't want to talk about His divinity. 

I'd rather talk about His humanity. 

Because that's how I'm feeling this morning. I want to have something remarkable to share . . . something that speaks of the wonder and awe of God and His relationship with us. But I just don't have it this morning.

What I do have are the recurring questions about relationships and what God's will is regarding one in particular.

I have broken off communication with some family members. Since doing that, I have felt more peace in many ways, but I find myself questioning whether or not my peace/happiness is a fair trade-off for whatever pain/anger they may be feeling. 

So once more today, I find myself grateful for the lessons I have learned about the compassion and humanity of our Father. He understands my feelings, of that I am sure. I am reminded that He is my Father to whom I may bring every problem, struggle, and joy. He never tires of listening to me, and His deepest desire is what is best for me. 

Questions may linger. Adjustments may need to be made. People are changelings, but God is constant. And I am so grateful for that today.

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #15

After a week of depression, sadness, anxiety, and generally bad feelings, yesterday was a turn around.


One of my favorite bloggers, Inner Pickle, commented about me on her blog and even posted a link! I was so excited when I realized that I was the "Melanie" to whom she was referring. What a neat feeling to be read by someone I love to read.


Wednesday is counseling day, and we worked some more on a very difficult episode of abuse. I came away from the session with some good realizations: I did fight back and I wasn't weak, I just did what I had to do and I used the best judgment I had at that moment. We also spent some time talking about the benefit of this blog. It has helped me so much to have a forum from which to share on a regular basis.


Finally, as I was preparing dinner, I jumped online again to see if I had any new comments, and I did. From another site that I've been silently stalking, Imperfect Prose, Emily liked what I had written on Easter Sunday.


Validation is something I crave, and over the years I have gotten very little. To have other people, strangers, comment positively on my inner most thoughts and feelings is amazingly empowering for me.


So today, as I said on Sunday, I find myself with gratitude in my heart. But unlike Sunday, I am also feeling joy. Another reminder of the continuing love and grace from my Father above, often bestowed by His children here on earth. 


Blessings and peace.
link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #14

It's Maundy Thursday. I mentioned before that I wasn't brought up observing religious holy days, so this morning when I saw a friend's Facebook post about Maundy Thursday, my first thought was, "What does that even mean?"

Ah, the joys of Wikipedia! I read/scanned a brief article and what stuck with me, is that maundy is a derivation of a Latin term for foot washing. Ok, so Maundy Thursday is about Jesus washing the feet of His disciples at the Last Supper.

I love context. It provides order and structure for me. So Maundy Thursday is about Jesus' servant heart. That's something with which I can work. 

Jesus calls us to be servants. It seems so simple doesn't it? But how often do I really serve people without an expectation that it will be reciprocated? 

A few weeks ago, my son and I served dinner for guests at Room In the Inn. It was reminder to me of the blessing and honor it is for me to help others. It was also a reminder to me that I worry WAY too much about other people's perceptions. These are homeless people and I was worrying about whether or not they would be happy with the food I served them; about whether or not to use institutional dishes or paper plates; about whether or not they would judge everything about me.

What I found was I learned much more from them than they could possibly have learned from me (and that I still frequently stick my foot in my mouth).

So for this Maundy Thursday I am grateful for the example of Jesus' servant heart, and I will make it my goal to be of service to others today.

Peace and blessings to you and yours.

(I recently read a couple of essays that I found intriguing. I'm passing on the links for your consideration:

The Gospel According to Lady Gaga and Love Upside Down)

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #8

I found this information on YouVersion.com and I wanted to share. I grew up in a religious tradition that shunned religious holidays. I didn't understand the meaning of Ash Wednesday until just a few years ago when a friend explained after I had shared my ignorance. Over the past few years, I have begun to incorporate aspects of the Lenten season into my own traditions. I have found it to be a time for renewal and self awareness, and I find comfort in the worldwide community of believers who participate at the same time.
I liked the ideas expressed in this piece (although is was essentially an ad for this particular application, but it's a good one).

"Lent draws us closer to God through purposeful prayer, self-denial, repentance, giving, and time in the Bible:
Prayer. We thank God for reaching out to transform us, and we ask for direction and insight. Consider asking God to help you see people the way He sees them.
Self-denial. Fasting means food, but we may also give up certain activities we enjoy. What things do you think about most? Food? Coffee? Sweets? Social media? Television and entertainment? Commit to go without at least one between now and Easter.
Repentance. When our thoughts drift to ourselves, that’s our cue to connect with God, asking Him to show us our weaknesses and sins. We ask Him to forgive us and change our hearts.
Giving. We freely offer whatever we have to those in need. It could be money contributed to worthy charities, our time, our talents. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or shelter. Visit the elderly. Write letters of prayer and encouragement to orphans. Give intentionally to people who can’t repay you.
Scripture Reading. YouVersion has 5 Reading Plans specifically designed to help you center your life on God and His Word during this special time of reflection and purpose."
Right now I find myself grateful for the season; for the opportunity to re-examine my own life; to strive to grow closer to God; and to seek opportunities to serve others.
I hope you do too.

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #7

Last weekend my son stood in our pantry door bemoaning the lack of food in our house. "Mom, how long has it been since you went to the grocery?" he asked (whined). My reply was that it had been about 10 days and I planned to go on Monday. I found myself apologizing for not having gotten there sooner; not having the foods he wanted in the house.

Monday I went to the grocery and stocked up. When I came home I sat all the bags in the kitchen and got ready to unpack them. That's when I looked in the pantry, and this is what I saw

It occurred to me that I was going to have to clean out the pantry before I could put the new food away.

That made me wonder about the refrigerator and freezer

Finally I looked at all the bags I'd just brought in from the car

What's wrong with all these pictures? 

I had a pantry full of food. A refrigerator full of food. A freezer full of food, and yet my son (and let's not just blame him, by the way) couldn't find anything to eat!?!

I am so incredibly blessed, and I don't even recognize it most of the time. More groceries than I can organize, and yet it's so easy to focus on what's not in the pantry/refrigerator/freezer.

I do this with my spiritual life as well. All the things that aren't right. Struggles I'm facing, but I can't see the glory of a Christian life and the hope of heaven because there are a few rocks in my path.

Lord, teach me to be grateful for your bounteous blessings, but first teach me to see.

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #6

To learn from our enemies is the best pathway to loving them: for it makes us grateful to them. -- Friedrich Nietzche (1844-1900)

This is a lesson I have learned over and over again in the process of healing from childhood sexual abuse. Learning to find gratitude and blessings from evil is a trying lesson, but I believe it is vital to healing, growth, and development.

Every opportunity that we have for growth is an opportunity for gratitude. To be stagnate is to have no life at all. Surviving is only the first step to living the life that God has planned for each of us. If we stop at surviving, we have missed so much. God wants us to thrive!

Obviously there is a global application to this concept, as well as a personal one. We must learn from our enemies on the broader scope if we want any hope of a world as God envisioned it. We learn to not repeat mistakes, we learn to be kind, generous, and loving. The goal is not to figure out why they are enemies, but to develop skills to bring each and every person closer to God's vision.

It's been another week of struggles for me. An email that confused me and left me in real pain, and yet I made another step toward healing as the result of that pain. 

Another episode of abuse from my past looked at and seen for what it really was -- abuse. And the reminder that my confusion is a good sign. To understand evil choices is to move closer to making those same choices ourselves.

So today I will keep processing the pain, both emotional and physical. I will feel a little down in the dumps, but I will not let it keep from moving toward the life God has for me.

And I will move forward in gratitude.

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday #5

I've had a couple of epiphanies this past week. They've been a long time coming, so I'm trying to just be grateful for getting here, while not beating myself up about how long it's taken.

I was diagnosed almost 11 years ago with post traumatic stress disorder. Since that diagnosis, I have worked constantly on processing and reprocessing information to get myself reorganized mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 

A few weeks ago I discontinued a relationship that was really painful for me. I have struggled with this decision for years, but I finally realized I had to have a break. Since breaking off communication with these people, I suddenly find myself happier, with more energy, and suddenly being able to do things just because I want to do them. 

It was pointed out to me recently that the change is the result of recognizing my value as a human being. By taking the stand for myself, I suddenly really see that I am valuable. That I am deserving of respect  from others as well as from myself.

This was a big event for me. I am really working on savoring this new sensation and recognizing it as a good thing. It's going to take a little time to get comfortable with this realization, but that's okay. I'm worth it.

Thanks be to God for realizations and growth.

link up at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday

It is the Thursday before Christmas. I feel as if I should have something deeply profound to write and share. I don't.

It seems redundant to speak of my gratitude for the gift of God's Son. I am not limited to that gratitude at only this season. In truth, I was raised in one of those households that strove to keep Christ out of the season, because-no-one-knows-the-actual-date-of-His-birth-and-maybe-God-wanted-it-that-way-so-we-wouldn't-get-caught-up-in-celebrating-one-specific-day.

I get tired of the posturing that takes place at Christmas. Tired of the people who are offended by X-mas and reindeer.

So maybe this doesn't sound like a Thankful Thursday post, but I am thankful for

-- any opportunity the whole world takes to focus on peace and love and goodwill toward all.

-- time spent with people I truly love and who truly love me, warts and all.

-- beautiful music, whether sacred or secular, that lifts my spirit and makes me smile with pure joy.

-- pretty lights (not gaudy displays) and delicious foods made (hopefully) with love and just for the joy of it.

So here's my gift for you all this Thankful Thursday before Christmas. Merry Christmas!

find more Thankful Thursday at Grace Alone

Thankful Thursday

This month we move Thankful Thursday to Grace Alone. It's an interesting combination -- thankfulness and grace.

Thankfulness is defined as: conscious of benefit received; expressive of thanks; well pleased.

Grace is defined as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification.

Big words!

I need a lot of grace this week. So I am hugely thankful that God is providing it.

Abuse does bizarre things to people. It warps my view of myself. That's one place God's grace comes in -- He gives me a mirror to view myself as He sees me. 

He doesn't see the damaged, terrified, worthless person that I see when I look in my mirror. He sees His child, who has been hurt. A child He wants to comfort and nurture. A child who is not a victim, but a survivor. His child for whom He wants the best.

Today I am thankful for God's grace.

find more Thankful Thursday at Grace Alone