Thursday, October 16, 2014

Adjust



I like routine. I've said it a thousand times.

Routine makes me believe I am safe. There is a plan and I have chosen accordingly. Nothing will go wrong.

Lord, what fools we mortals are!

Just because it's written on a a piece of paper or tapped into my iPhone calendar, doesn't make it so. God wrote commandments in stone, and we all know how well that worked out!

But I continue to think that if I just make a plan and stick with it everything will come up roses.

Let's be clear, I'm not complaining about my life, and these are clearly first world problems. I have a roof, electricity, running water. No one is sick (well, ok I've got a sinus infection, but it's not ebola!), and everyone is still speaking to each other. Things are just a bit disorganized and discombobulated for a variety of pretty good reasons. 

Unfortunately this is when "black and white girl" shows up in my head. Things are either right or wrong -- black or white -- there is no middle ground for this girl. Yet I am the first person to tell anyone else to just "roll with it". I believe that to be true, but I still have a really difficult time applying the concept to myself. I assume everyone else around me is mad and thinking terrible things (usually about me), and I begin to function as if those assumptions are accurate. 

Attempting mind reading is always a dangerous pursuit, but especially so when I'm functioning on minimal sleep filled with steroid induced dreams.

So I'm re-evaluating (again) today. Making that very basic list, and giving myself permission to take it slow and easy until this infection clears up. 

Adjust. Oops this was supposed to be a 5 minute post.

linking up with 31 Days of Writing




6 comments:

  1. I do that too sometimes. Rolling with life interruptions with grace is hard. It is funny that I visited you first. Yesterday all of the first world problems happened at once, and I was tempted to stress about it because things were not going to plan. :) I have no idea why things shake out the way they do sometimes, but regardless, His grace is sufficient, and we gotta give some to ourselves. Thanks for this post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am a worrier and I LOVE to make lists. I can relate to your post so much. Sometimes I need to step back and stop being such a perfectionist!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope you get well soon as sinus infections are no fun!
    It is more than okay to follow "just" your basic to-do list. Our lists are there to guide us not rule over us. I am talking to myself on this one too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sinus infections are no fun - hope yours clears up soon.

    I continually have to work on balance between structure and flexibility. Too much structure makes me feel I can't breathe, but not enough and I don't get anything done. I can get upset when I DO make plans and then they're upended, but that's life, and I have to learn to go with the flow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hope you're feeling better soon. I'm glad that you took time anyway to share with us. I tend to be very structured but I'm slowly learning to be a grace-receiver, not a grace-achiever.
    Blessings,
    Renee

    ReplyDelete
  6. I constantly have to remind myself that people are not thinking about me nearly as much as I fear. And if they are, its probably not in a critical way.

    ReplyDelete

Please sign up as a follower to see comment replies.