What to Do

It's Saturday morning and I have the house to myself. My boys are gone rock climbing. I stayed up late watching a movie last night, but still got up at my usual time.

I've had breakfast -- cranberry scones I baked just for myself, and English breakfast tea. I've puttered on Facebook and the news. I've gotten dresses and started some laundry. 

Here's the thing. I have the entire day and evening to myself. No responsibilities. No expectations from anyone else. I have all kinds of things I'd like to do and have done. There is no one to complain about my choices, and yet I am still stymied by what the right choice is for the day. 

That little voice in my head is telling me to stop being so ridiculous and just pick something. There is no right or wrong. But somewhere deep in my gut fear lurks. Wrong choices. Wasted time. How can I trust that I will make the appropriate choice of how to use this day?

These are the thoughts that run through my head most days, but most days I have someone looking over my shoulder with expectations, so there is some semblance of order. 

A day or weekend to myself sounds lovely, but the reality can be somewhat overwhelming. So I make a list, my go-to coping mechanism --

1. yoga
2. hem pants
3. clean kitchen
4. do some crafting for Presents with a Purpose: crochet, bead, bean bag babies
5. read
6. balance the checkbook
7. work on paperwork
8. rest
9. write

I look at my list and I see what I've forgotten. The one thing that will make this day better, maybe best. Pray. Pray for God to show me how to spend my time. Listen to what He says, and trust that I am hearing His voice.

New list --

1. Pray
2. Do what God tells me

linking up with Write 31 Days