What to Do

It's Saturday morning and I have the house to myself. My boys are gone rock climbing. I stayed up late watching a movie last night, but still got up at my usual time.

I've had breakfast -- cranberry scones I baked just for myself, and English breakfast tea. I've puttered on Facebook and the news. I've gotten dresses and started some laundry. 

Here's the thing. I have the entire day and evening to myself. No responsibilities. No expectations from anyone else. I have all kinds of things I'd like to do and have done. There is no one to complain about my choices, and yet I am still stymied by what the right choice is for the day. 

That little voice in my head is telling me to stop being so ridiculous and just pick something. There is no right or wrong. But somewhere deep in my gut fear lurks. Wrong choices. Wasted time. How can I trust that I will make the appropriate choice of how to use this day?

These are the thoughts that run through my head most days, but most days I have someone looking over my shoulder with expectations, so there is some semblance of order. 

A day or weekend to myself sounds lovely, but the reality can be somewhat overwhelming. So I make a list, my go-to coping mechanism --

1. yoga
2. hem pants
3. clean kitchen
4. do some crafting for Presents with a Purpose: crochet, bead, bean bag babies
5. read
6. balance the checkbook
7. work on paperwork
8. rest
9. write

I look at my list and I see what I've forgotten. The one thing that will make this day better, maybe best. Pray. Pray for God to show me how to spend my time. Listen to what He says, and trust that I am hearing His voice.

New list --

1. Pray
2. Do what God tells me

linking up with Write 31 Days

imperfect prose on thursdays: I Believe . . .

(My husband found this among his dad's writings, and I had the honor of reading it at his funeral. Byron was a physicist and professor of real estate and finance. I never knew much about his personal beliefs, but I'm happy to know he talked with God.)

I BELIEVE . . . 

I don’t know much, but I do believe God made heaven and earth, including you and me, and the rocks and mountains and oceans, and plants and animals and our Earth, Sun and Solar System, and the one hundred billion suns in the Milky Way galaxy and the one hundred billion galaxies in the known universe, and the known and unknown elements and forces  including electro-magnetism, strong and weak forces, gravity and something called  “Dark Energy” that is forcing the universe to continue to expand in violation  of Einstein’s “Law of Relativity”, and the very strange Quantum World of energy bundles  we call Electrons , Up Quarks and Down Quarks (protons and neutrons),  Gluons , and  Matter and Anti-Matter.

It is extremely important to believe in something. 

Man is God’s only creature that intentionally destroys his environment with the intent of doing less, and making life easier by indulging in excess consumption and glorifying in personal power. People of faith respect God’s work and take s care of themselves and their environment.

Prayer is fundamental!  Talking with God is the most important thing a person can do.   It is a direct communication without the noise and influences of other people.
I ask God for guidance and help with those things beyond my control and promise to do my best to solve the problems I can control.   
I believe someday I will be Reborn into an afterlife called Heaven . . . or just maybe it’s another Universe of God right under our noses . . . and will be with my one and only lovely Lisa! (his wife who died 24 years ago)  

That’s what I believe, and why I talk with God.  

linking up with imperfect prose on thursdays

Monday Musings

over the weekend Alan and I went to The Inn at Evins Mill for an anniversary getaway. it's always nice to go somewhere new, and I highly recommend The Inn if you are anywhere nearby.


the best things about a getaway with Alan though, is the chance to talk without interruptions and to just "be" quietly together -- to remember why we chose each other. 


relationship is all about communication. all too often the longer we are married, the less time we spend in actual communication. it's all well and good to say, "we know each other so well, we don't need to talk", but I don't believe that for a minute.


the same thing is true in my relationship with God. if I don't spend time talking to Him, i.e., studying His word and praying (talking) to Him, I lose sight of who He truly is. I impose my own fears, beliefs, and negative thoughts onto Him and they were never His to begin with. that's just satan trying to fool me.


make time today to communicate with the people most important to you -- God, your spouse, you kids -- whoever. even if it's just 5 or 10 minutes. it can make all the difference in the world.


blessings!

Thankful Thursday -- October 7, 2010

Happy October, fellow bloggers! We are having true autumn weather here and it is lovely! After a summer of sizzling heat, we now find ourselves with BELOW normal morning temperatures. I have told myself I will not complain, but remember how I longed for cooler weather all summer long. Sweaters, jeans, scarves and boots!

So for this Thankful Thursday I am grateful for:

1. An improved attitude, which I think is the result of asking for and receiving prayers. I tend to forget that (1) it's ok to ask for prayers (and help), and (2) it really makes a HUGE difference.

2. A straighter house thanks in large part to my dear friend, KFH, who came yesterday to craft, and instead helped me pick up and put away because I have a cleaning crew coming on Friday!

3. New Bible study friends in my Beth Moore class. Last night was a video and I sat next to a woman I am just getting to know. She surprised me by telling me that she had been praying for dd and us. DD will be coming home the last week of October. While I am excited, we are also all (even dd) a little nervous. A friend reminded me this week that worrying and stressing won't help or change anything, so that has become my new mantra.

4. More new fabric bought on clearance. Now all I need is the time (and motivation) to make some goodies to sell.

5. Peace and a return to balance. It's a cyclical thing with me. Maybe it's the PTSD or maybe it's just my human nature, but I tend to cycle between peace, contentment and balance, and panic, stress and depression! I'm glad to be back in the positive spin of the cycle.

May your Thankful Thursday be full of blessings. Check out Spiritually Unequal Marriage for more sharing of gratitude.