Eight Common Myths about Child Sexual Abuse: An Informative Article

I recently ran across an article that answered some long standing questions for me. Throughout this process of dealing with my childhood sexual abuse (CSA) I have been my own worst critic. If I were one of the apostles, I would be Thomas.  Always doubting, always questioning. That is in part my nature and in part one of the side effects of the abuse. As survivors, we learn early on to doubt what our senses tell us. How can we not doubt? Understanding is impossible. How to understand that someone who was previously friendly and nice, is now mean and frightening? 


In my experience, abusers were part of my day to day life. I am sure there were times when I was with them that they did not abuse me, thus adding to the confusion. Why last time, but not this time? What did I do differently that made them stay "nice"? 


So throughout this journey a couple of recurring themes have haunted and tormented me. The first one was how could everyone be taken in by this person? One of my abusers was the all American clean cut college guy. A good Christian boy, from a good Christian family, who went to a good Christian school, and met a nice Christian girl -- got engaged, so they could live the good Christian life serving others through his prominent medical practice. That's what "everybody" saw -- except me. I saw the terrifying man with the dead eyes who attacked viciously and randomly, and expected his girlfriend to watch and then clean up. Very confusing, especially when you are five years old. 


The second one was, How is it no one noticed any damage to my body? I was threatened, knocked down, and terrorized, but I was also raped, strangled, and sodomized. While I don't have clear memories of specific injuries, I do remember a great deal of pain and some blood. How was this missed? Remarkably it is not uncommon. It doesn't take that long to abuse a child, and children heal quickly, especially in soft tissue areas.

Eight Common Myths about Child Sexual Abuse clarified some aspects of this for me. I would recommend that everyone read this article. If you have suffered abuse, hopefully it will bring you some peace. If you have not, you probably know someone who has, and this knowledge will help you help them. Regardless, knowledge is power.


The eight myths are:
1. Normal-appearing, well educated, middle-class people don't molest children.
2. People are too quick to believe an abuser is guilty, even if there is no supporting evidence.
3. Child molesters molest indiscriminately.
4. Children who are being abused would immediately tell their parents.
5. Children who are being abused will show physical evidence of abuse.
6. Hundreds of innocent men and women have been falsely accused and sent to prison for molesting children.
7. If asked about abuse, children tend to exaggerate and are prone to make false accusations.
8. By using repeated interviews, therapists or police can easily implant false memories and cause false accusations among children of any age.


Some of these myths will challenge your core beliefs, they did mine and I'm a survivor! Others may seem patently obvious to you. Regardless, try to read with and open mind, and if possible share this information others, to help stop the abundance of abuse against children in our world.


Blessings!

(photo from charlottemusiclessons.wordpress.com)