Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Day 3 of 31

Today Lisa-Jo said write the story you know. And I think about how I've been trying to do that for a long time. Not that long ago I shared about it here.
When I think of the stories, fiction and nonfiction, that have moved me the most, they are rarely the stories of great beauty and romance. Stories that move me are gritty and tough, repetitive and full of struggle. Perhaps because they are so true. The human condition is not a pretty story, but a story of perseverance.

I keep trying to visualize the end of my story. When it's over and the abuse doesn't effect me everyday any more. I think that may be part of my problem. That's not the ending that will come. Maybe the end is more about me taking control of and accepting the impact the abuse has on my life everyday. 

My husband tells me not to feel bad for feeling bad. To get angry at the people who did this to me and toss all the crap right back on them. 
I'm just not sure how to do that. I don't want to do "confrontations".  I tried that approach with one and it didn't go well. One of the abusers is dead. Another I tried to contact, but she won't communicate with me. Honestly I don't want to talk with any of them.

So I think and write about my experiences to clear my head and I hope (and I pray) that by being open and honest about my own struggles someone out there is being helped to move beyond their own pain and seek help. 

And #&*% the abusers.

linking up with Lisa-Jo and Ann Voskamp


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