Thursday, September 5, 2013

imperfect communication

We've been married for 28 years. We've seen each other through the births of our children. We've dealt with difficult pregnancies, an emergency c-section, weeks of bed rest, discussing funeral arrangements in case our son didn't survive, a premature birth, a slow and arduous recovery for me.

We've dealt with me telling him I understood he felt called to preach the gospel, but I was incapable of a being a "preacher's wife". I crushed his plans.

We've dealt with years of actuarial exams. Of his studying all evening and early mornings and working all day, while I stayed home and wrangled 2 kids.

We've dealt with recognizing and coming to terms with the abuse I suffered, and the ongoing effects of the abuse. He has supported me financially, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

We've dealt with raising 2 kids. A misdiagnosis of one child and years of trying to find the right diagnosis. Medications that it turned out were unnecessary and even harmful.

We're facing the empty nest soon, and a job change for him in the near future. 

And we really love each other . . . but sometimes our communication skills are just awful. He lashes out from exhaustion, and I get my feelings hurt and just try to move a long.

We do this dance around each other. This imperfect dance of marriage and trying to understand and be understood.

We have an imperfect marriage full of imperfect communication because we are imperfect beings trying to emulate perfection.

linking up with imperfect prose

1 comment:

  1. Hi Melanie,

    We all wrestle with this. Hang in there. Thanks for your honesty.

    May you and I, and our men, continue to learn from our Master God Psychologist how to gently speak, listen, and respect each other. That's my prayer for me. :)

    Have a great week. Hopping over from Emily's link up. Nice to say hi again,
    Jennifer Dougan


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