Thankful Thursday #2

I'll admit it. It's been a rough few days. It started Saturday during a yoga class. I have memories that I prefer to not think about. Really bad memories. At the end of yoga on Saturday, as my mind and body relaxed, I began to think about/remember some things. When yoga class ended I couldn't move from my mat. As the room cleared out, the instructor noticed me and came to see if I was all right. I told her I wasn't. She laid her cool hands on mine and prayed a prayer of peace over me as I sat and cried. Then she hugged me tightly until I could get some measure of control. 

The rest of Saturday and Sunday are a blur. I spent a lot of time in bed and a lot of time stuck in my own head.

Tuesday I posted a prayer request on Facebook and received many loving comments and offers of prayers. I also received a message from a lady who lives overseas. We really only knew each other vaguely before Facebook, but have exchanged comments over the past few years. She offered me support, one survivor to another. She understands. From far away on another continent, I have found someone to whom I don't have to explain every jot and tittle of emotion.

Yesterday I talked with my therapist about this most recent memory. It was a difficult conversation. I was drained physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I came home and crawled back into bed and slept, this time with no dreams. I talked with my husband and cried some more. I pulled myself together and went to a marriage ministry meeting, and then spent the rest of the evening curled up on the sofa with my sweet hubby.

It's been a long road, this transition from victim to survivor. Not at all what I would have imagined in the before. What I've learned is this -- I can't make the abuse not have happened, BUT God has provided every step of the way. A wonderful husband who has stood by my side through all of it with unwavering love for me and God. Good therapists with my best as their only concern. Friends who continue to love and validate me. And the most amazing part, to me, people I would never have known who have helped in immeasurable ways. He has given me the strength and resolve to be open and public about my struggles, and I have received so much healing from that!

So this Thankful Thursday finds me sad and in pain, but so amazingly grateful for the gifts of God, that I had to share.

Peace and blessings.

find more Thankful Thursday at Women Taking a Stand