Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY . . . September 23, 2014

Outside my window . . . blue skies and bright sunshine with a cool 50 degrees :)

I am thinking . . . about yet another plan for organizing my time! I worked on setting up a new routine over the weekend. I need routine, but I fight it for some reason.

I am thankful . . . for a fun day on Saturday with Besties 1 and 2. It is pure rejuvenation hanging out with them.

In the kitchen . . . an impromptu round of grilled burgers last night. I had no idea what I was doing for dinner until dear son came in and asked for burgers. We all the makings so I fired up the grill.

I am wearing . . . my favorite homemade gown and one of my (many) crocheted shawls.

I am creating . . . assorted projects for Presents with a Purpose. Still working on scarves, but thinking about doing some boot cuffs as well.

I am going . . . to therapy and then home to carry on with organizing and cleaning.

I am wondering . . . about how I'm going to do with dh out of the country for 10 days. He is going to Malaysia on a school related workshop.

I am reading . . . Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo. 


I am looking forward to . . . several things I have planned for next week to keep me occupied while dh is away.

I am hearing . . . quiet.

Around the house . . . autumn decor is making a return, and I'm still reorganizing. 

I am praying . . . for safe travels for dh. They will be flying Malaysia Air for part of the trip, and while I know it's highly unlikely anything will go wrong, it is still a bit unsettling after Malaysia Air lost 2 planes so recently.

One of my favorite things . . . is finding ways to help others and get plugged in with other people. I'm putting out some real effort to make this happen right now.

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . yoga classes, Bible class, LBB is coming for awhile on Thursday. Alan leaves on Friday. Coffee with a friend. A concert on Saturday night with BFF #2, and then church on Sunday where I'll be working at the welcome center.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing . . . 
a recent yard sale acquisition



linking up with The Simple Woman





Friday, September 19, 2014

Reading List

List the the top 6 books on your list to read next --

1. True Detective by Max Allan Collins

"In the mob-choked Chicago of 1932, private detective Nathan Heller may be willing to risk his life to earn a Depression dollar, but he never sacrifices his slicing wit." I've been a fan of Collins' work for years. Just got the first Nathan Heller book on my Kindle.

2. The Orthodox Heretic by Peter Rollins

I recently met Rollins and heard him speak. Fascinating speaker. I'm looking forward to reading his works.

3. bird by bird by Anne Lamott

Love me some Anne Lamott! If I'm really going to attempt writing for real, then this is a must read.

4. Spiritual Disciplines Handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
I'm always on the lookout for ways to improve my spiritual walk. This book was recommended to me earlier in the summer. I hope to get around to it soon!

5. The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson

While I'm familiar with the killing spree of Dr. H. H. Holmes, I'm not as familiar with 1893 World's Fair held in Chicago. I'm always up for a murder and mayhem when it's mixed with history, so this one's on my list.

6. Getting the Pretty Back by Molly Ringwald
Okay, there is no excuse for this being on my to read list, except that I bought it on a whim. I am too old to have been part of "Molly Ringwald" moviedom, but I read ONE review that said it was good and bought it. Besides after I read the others on this list, I gonna need some fluff!

So there you go, the next 6 books on my reading list. (Yeah, likes this is ever gonna happen!)



linking up with Writer's Workshop


Hold

I hold tight to my feelings. It's a lesson learned long ago, but reinforced time and time again.

Letting other people in can be painful, so it's better to just hold those feelings in and interact with others on the surface.

My needs and pain overwhelm me. Why would anyone else want to deal with them?

We are on a plane. I am cold. My husband is reading in the aisle seat. I will have to interrupt him to get a jacket from the overhead compartment.

I am cold. There is nothing to be done but try to wait it out. 

He looks at me and asks if I'm okay. I tell him I am cold. He immediately offers to get a jacket for me. Handing me the jacket, he asks, "Were you just going to be cold? Why didn't you tell me?"

I didn't want to bother him. To interrupt his reading. 

Why he asks. Is his reading more important than my discomfort?

I know the right answer is "no", but in my head (heart) the answer is still "yes". 

He smiles and laughs a bit as he covers me with his jacket. 

I hold the tweed jacket around me, smelling in his scent.




linking up with Five Minute Friday


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY . . . September 16, 2014

Outside my window . . . is Milford, CT. It's 59* and cloudy. I'm here just for the day with dh on a business trip.

I am thinking . . . how unfortunate it is that I generally don't sleep well in hotels. Last night's primary problem was hard pillows.

I am thankful . . . for time with my dh. Even if most of our time has been spent traveling, it's nice to just be together seeing new things and having new experiences.

In the kitchen . . . nothing by me. I do know that a trip to the grocery store is my future once I'm home.

I am wearing . . . yoga pants and a large white shirt (not my gown as I had to go down to the lobby for breakfast and tea)

I am creating . . . assorted projects for Presents with a Purpose. Right now I'm focusing on infinity scarves. I'm on number 3 working from my yarn stash.

I am going . . . to putter around the hotel this morning and then meet dh and his client for lunch. After that it's back to Nashville!

I am wondering . . . about setting up a writing schedule for myself.

I am reading . . . Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo. 



I am looking forward to . . . to the rest of the week at home. I'm getting into a bit of a routine with everyone's new fall schedule. 

I am hearing . . . the air conditioner in the hotel room, and dh getting ready for his meeting.

Around the house . . . we left things looking pretty well. A bit of laundry to fold when I get home and I've got to clean off my work table and the ottoman in the den. 

I am praying . . . for a friend, an adoptive mother, who is struggling with tough love for one her older children.

One of my favorite things . . . is coloring. Yesterday dh and I stopped at a little mini-mall and found some goodies on sale. Two big coloring books and a set of crayons, buy 2 get 1 free. 

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . home today, a quiet day of housekeeping tomorrow. Precept class on Thursday, and currently Friday is wide open. Saturday is Fun Girls Day, and then back to church on Sunday.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing . . . 
a shot from last month's Fun Girl's Day
"The Kitchen of the Future" c. 1960s

linking up with The Simple Woman







Saturday, September 13, 2014

Defining Myself

I have had a week of mini-epiphanies.

It started out with this quote:


 Remember that being a survivor is not an identity; it is an experience. An identity we hold onto; an experience we live through. 

A reminder that I am more than my experiences. There is more to me than the fact that I am a survivor of abuse. I had to remind myself that it is okay that my primary identifying marker was "survivor" for awhile, but it's okay to move on from that.

Later in the week I ran across this:

There is the “event” of childhood sexual abuse that involves the actual acts that occurred. Then there is the experience of childhood sexual abuse that involves the before and after effects of the events. Many people “move on” from the event by forgiving their violator, removing themselves from the environment that supported the event, by achieving success that distracts them from the event, by forgetting the events, or simply ignoring the painful event. Healing from the experience, on the other hand, is much more difficult and complex. It requires a great degree of self-awareness; understanding the guilt and shame, changing damaging scripts in our head, paying attention to relationships and allowing the pain to transform into purpose. There are layers and layers of healing from the experience, which is why it is a life-long journey. It is too long of a journey to go alone. So let’s go together.

A wonderful explanation of of the complexity of the healing process. A reminder that it's okay for it to take as long as it takes, as long as I am moving forward.

I've had a lot of quiet down time this week as I've been fighting a cold. Lots of solitude and little energy has meant sitting and thinking because I'm too tired to do anything. At first it was annoying, but then I began to realize that this illness was providing me with an opportunity I've been needing. Time to think about how far I've come. Where I am now. And what I want in the future. That it's okay to think about life that way -- what I want. It doesn't make me selfish. It makes me self aware.

Then this morning, this little gem:

If we stop trying to improve ourselves and start trying to delight ourselves, we get further as artists.
-- Julia Cameron

Well that pretty much says it all doesn't it? I've moved to a point I can see myself as an artist, and I'm tired of trying to improve. Ready to start delighting. 

This just might change everything.


linking up with Just Write







Friday, September 12, 2014

Ready

Am I ready?

I look for signs, for guidance, for messages and callings. Is this the time to start to really write my story? To begin the slow and painful process of putting my history into a cohesive reckoning of experiences and feelings?

I entered a memoir contest a couple of weeks ago. I wrote the opening paragraph for my "memoir". I even had a friend help me with editing. It felt good to be stretching my writing muscles for something so specific.

I wrote a post about wanting to write a memoir, and how to deal with legalities. I'm thinking about meeting with an attorney. Is this really happening?

Am I ready?

Is now the time to delve into all those old journals and ramblings on my computer, in my file cabinet, on my blog? Is my psyche ready to open those old wounds yet again and lay them out for others to see?

I don't know. But I do know I'm ready to find out.


linking up with Five Minute Friday