Just Write

Just write the prompt says.

That's how I process most things. I write it out until I feel better, or understand better, or see more clearly.

But sometimes . . . sometimes writing doesn't come. I avoid writing about the hard stuff, because maybe no one else will think it's hard. Maybe someone will laugh at me. Maybe no one will understand.

Last week was that way. It's not that I didn't have anything to write about, I just didn't know how to say it and feel safe. 

I write about a lot of difficult things in this space. I write about a lot of good things here as well. I'm pretty open (some might say ridiculously so), but even I have limits. For me it's usually about collateral damage. I can say whatever I want to about myself. I can say whatever I want to about the abusers because I don't name names. What I can't (won't) do is talk about people currently in my life and the tough stuff that happens with them sometimes, even if it's tied up in healing from abuse. 

Last week was one of those weeks when the tough stuff with the people I love the most was all I could think about, and little or no processing seemed to be happening. The truth is processing was going on, it was just really difficult. I am an extremist. People are good or bad -- there is no continuum. There are only absolutes. I recognize that's something I need to work on, and I am, but it still gets in the way sometimes. 

When someone I love and trust does something that hurts, and I can't make it understood why it hurts, I fall back into old routines and patterns. Extremes. That's a bad place to be. 

So last week was a quiet week, and maybe that's okay. Maybe I don't have to share every single struggle in this space. That's another issue for me -- does incomplete disclosure equal lying? I know the answer, but sometimes (when things are tough) I fall back into old beliefs. We all do. The key is to face those thoughts and beliefs head on with facts, truth, and evidence. Challenge those patterns.

I've done some challenging over the past couple of days. Verbally. With trusted confidantes. And I'm feeling a bit less extreme, and more centered. 

So I sit down at my computer and just write.


linking up with Just Write

Summertime Eating

linking up with Wordless Wednesday

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY . . . August 5, 2014

Outside my window . . . it's 72* with a slightly overcast look, but still lots of sunshine. We are under an air alert today, so it looks like indoor activities as much as possible.

I am thinking . . . the benefits of talking about struggles. It never ceases to amaze me how helpful it can be to have a trusted, compassionate, and nonjudgemental friend to listen.

I am thankful . . . that Dr. Kent Brantly is back in the states and getting continuing medical care at Emory.

In the kitchen . . . Sunday was a fun day with friends celebrating birthdays. Last night I used the leftover grilled chicken to make dh and me chicken quesadillas. Yummy!

I am wearing . . . lounge pants and a tank top.

I am creating . . . plans. I sorted through some yarn yesterday. I need a fun, but mindless crochet project for vacation next week, so I'm culling through patterns and my stash to find something I'll enjoy working on without having to think!

I am going . . . to keep reminding myself that I am not inherently bad. You is kind. You is smart. You is important. (The Help)

I am wondering . . . about the future. Not worrying -- just wondering. We are in that part of our life where things are shifting and changing, and I'm just wondering what it will look like when things settle down a bit.

I am reading . . . Atlas Girl by Emily Wierenga. This is a memoir of her life thus far. It is lyrically written and has been totally engrossing.

I am looking forward to . . . leaving for Bonaire on Saturday. Please pray that things go well for us with our scuba diving, especially that I don't have trouble with my ears.

I am hearing . . . silence. Dh and dd have left for work. Ds is still in bed after getting in late from a day trip with his sweetie yesterday. It's really quite lovely.

Around the house . . . things are in pretty good shape. I'm learning to embrace the clutter a bit. This is where we live after all :)

I am praying . . . my bestie who is job hunting (another interview today). Dr. Brantly and Nancy Writebol. Our travel plans for next week. 

One of my favorite things . . . is watching old movies. Netflix has recently added some pretty good oldies, and I've been enjoying watching them. Last night was Witness to Murder with Barbara Stanwyck and George Sanders, 2 of my favorites from old films.

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . mostly the usual suspects -- therapy, exercise, housework, writing, crafting, with packing and flying off early Saturday morning added in for good measure.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing . . . 

the family celebrating dh's birthday

for more visit The Simple Woman's Daybook

Miss Santra Bread

I have a core group of friends who have been with me for years. Yesterday we gathered to celebrate our summer birthdays. We had a salad bar with grilled chicken, baby spinach, American salad blend, feta, 4-cheese blend, croutons, tomatoes, red peppers, garbanzo beans, artichoke hearts, blueberries, slivered flavored almonds, carrots, and avocado. To complete the meal we had a zucchini bake and Miss Santra Bread.

Sandra is a sometimes member of our little group. She couldn't make it yesterday, but her bread made an appearance. We've been eating "Sandra bread" for as long as I can remember, and have even joked that we don't really need anything else as long as there are several loaves of it!

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 T. prepared mustard
1 T. poppy seeds
1/4 cup minced onions
1 loaf Pepperidge Farm Italian Bread (or similar dense bread)
8 slices Swiss cheese, cut into thirds

Mix first 4 ingredients. Cut loaf in 1" slices almost all the way through the loaf. Insert cheese in each cut. Spread butter mixture over the top of the loaf (yes, all of it!). Bake in a preheated oven, at 400* for 15-20 minutes. Serve with lots of napkins!

Here are few photos from our day -- 

LB added a little bacon!

Happy eating!

linking up with Made by You Monday

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY . . . July 29, 2014

Outside my window . . . 65* and a pure blue sky filled with sunshine.

I am thinking . . . about a request I got last night and how to handle it.

I am thankful . . . for another good day with my bestie. Everything seems brighter after time spent with her.

In the kitchen . . . Six Layer Dish is providing leftover lunches for dh this week!

I am wearing . . . my white cotton gown.

I am creating . . . a life. Sometimes I forget that creating is more than just producing craft items or food. I am reminded this morning that even if I don't have a project to show off or talk about, it doesn't mean I'm not being creative.

I am going . . . to the pool! The weather here has been just fabulous this month, so I'm soaking in as much pool time as possible.

I am wondering . . . about out upcoming trip to Bonaire, and hoping that I don't have trouble with my ears.

I am reading . . . Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed. It's very interesting so far. Reese Witherspoon is starring in the movie adaptation.

I am looking forward to . . . changes that are upcoming for our family.

I am hearing . . . peace and quiet, punctuated with occasional bird calls and wind chimes.

Around the house . . . I regained some control over the clutter yesterday! Yay me :)

I am praying . . . for Dr. Kent Brantly who is working with the ebola crisis in Liberia and tested positive for the disease himself.

One of my favorite things . . . is this kind of weather. Lows in the 60s and highs in the 80s. Perfect summer time weather if you ask me.

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . a bit calmer than some weeks. I just want to keep focus and get some things caught up around the house. Lunch with another dear friend on Thursday, and then friends over for lunch and birthday celebrations on Sunday.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing . . . 

dh is heading to Malaysia this fall --

you may read more here

for more visit The Simple Woman's Daybook

Six Layer Dish

This has not been the summer of cooking.

My peeps are all going in different directions at different times, so it's been really difficult to get organized, let alone inspired.

Last night I fell back on an old standby. I usually serve this in the fall and winter, but I was working from what I had on hand (because really who wants to grocery shop when it's this hot?)

This is another one of those recipes that I like and rely on because I almost always have the ingredients on hand, and it came from one of my favorite cookbooks, More with Less.

Of course my copy's a bit older and worn

Shockingly, I did make a few changes in the recipe. So here's my version

after everyone dove in of course!

Layer in the order given in a 2 quart greased (sprayed) casserole, seasoning each layer with salt and pepper:

2 medium potatoes, sliced

2 medium carrots, sliced

1 medium onion, cut in half and sliced, or diced

1/2 cup uncooked white rice (not instant)

1 pound ground chuck, raw, crumbled

2 15-oz cans diced tomatoes with liquid

Bake uncovered for 1 1/2 hours at 325*.  Check to see that beef is cooked through, and top with grated cheddar/jack cheese. Bake an additional 5-10 minutes or until cheese is melted.

Serves 4-6 hungry folks. You can complete your meal with a nice tossed salad or green vegetable of your choice.

Happy eating!

linking up with Made by You Monday

Counseling in Malaysia

Just wanted to share this exciting news with all of my readers. My husband is going to Malaysia to help others learn about marriage and family therapy. We are very excited for him to have this opportunity.

(Alan and Claire on a previous mission trip)

I would like to ask all of you to pray for us as he prepares for the trip and especially while he is traveling and out of the country. Please pray for me as I will be here at home. Pray that I will feel peace and comfort knowing he is doing good works.

If you would like to make a donation to the trip just follow the link -- Alan Goes to Malaysia

Thank you for your continued support and reading of my blog. You are all part of my extended family and I am grateful for our connection.