Expectations can bring hope and joy and comfort -- unless they are not met.
Unmet expectations bring pain and sadness and grief -- and somehow a feeling that I have failed.
Failed to explain myself and my life experiences.
Failed to make my parents proud enough of me that they will love me unconditionally.
Failed to be the kind of person they will believe and support and lift up.
Expectations are mine to adjust to reality -- not to what has been hoped for.
I expect that my parents will not change. I expect that they will continue to hurt me and let me down. I expect that I must learn to manage these expectations -- to learn to accept the realities of unmet expectations.
link up at the gypsy mama
Wow...thank you for your honesty in your post. I have a mother who I have learned to not expect much from. The nice thing is now at times she can exceed my expectations. That makes even her little gestures mean more to me.
ReplyDeleteI too had a mom who did not offer the love and support I hoped for. She died a year ago and it made me sad that I could not grieve more deeply at her passing. I forgave her long ago for not being the kind of mother I thought I needed and took the lessons I learned to try and be a better mother to my children.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your deep thoughts so openly.
Expectations can be so painful. :)
ReplyDelete