I have been down a path I knew I was going to have to travel, but I kept putting it off. Pushing it aside and choosing to walk different, less difficult paths. Not that the other paths were easy, just not hard in the same way as this one.
I was right, this last path was hard, but part of the difficulty was my own unwillingness or, perhaps, inability to face some hard truths.
There is a saying I love -- The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off!
Crass perhaps, but I have found it to be oh, so true.
I've learned a lot through this process -- about me, about my husband, my friends, and my family. Not all of it has been good, but not all has been bad either.
I have been reminded that people will fail you. But people will surprise you as well.
Relationships change -- constantly. People grow, or don't, but choices must be made and re-evaluated sometimes.
I don't know the end version of anything. I'm letting go of absolutes, but I'm also letting go of lots of expectations. I think that means I'm growing. Moving out of that stuck place I got to when the abuse started.
That little girl (I call her Lucy) needed comfort and security back then, and I've had to retroactively share it with her as I've learned. That won't change. She's always going to need me, and I'm always going to love her.
Not absolutes. Just possibilities.
painful. But the painful, yes, can be full of valuable lessons.
ReplyDeleteThe truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off! I love that quote by Gloria Steinem. ...and I looooove the idea of "possibilities." Xx
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