imperfect prose on Thursdays: acceptance

I still haven't talked with my parents, and it's looking less promising all the time. Last week I was convinced it was the right thing to do. Tell them the truth in clear, concise terms. It would make me feel better. I would be able to clearly see I had been open and honest with them. They would surely see, if not understand.
I shared my plans with my therapist, my husband, and trusted friends. There was a general pause that preceded responses from all of them. 
Why are you contemplating this?
What is your goal?
What are your expectations?


Couldn't they see I was trying to take the high road? Do what is right? Be the better person? Make sure I wasn't being unfair to my parents? Give them one more chance?


Couldn't I see that it was unnecessary at best, and horribly hurtful at worst?


I got some helpful responses:
:: While it may seem that you miss the little things, the thing I believe you really miss is the thing you've always missed - outward evidence of their love for you: their desire to protect you and keep you from harm. And then, when you are harmed as we all will be, to step in and lift you up.

:: The truth this side of Heaven tells us that hurt, evil and pain will exist but you can have confidence in claiming His peace and freedom from those things/people who weigh us down.

:: Think healthy. No one would want to live in a toxic landfill, and this is a mental/emotional version. Ooooooo, emotionally organic -- you will only take in high-quality healthful stuff, so if they choose to act like pork rinds and fried twinkies you will push back from the table bec you prefer to eat a delicious and nutritious Provencal country feast. Maybe that made you chuckle?

:: I am so sorry that your parents are hardware stores when you need groceries. The key is shopping at the right store to get what supplies you need. Now don't get me wrong-sometimes people advertise themselves to be grocery stores when they are really fast food places or hardware stores! But in fairness to them they don't even know who they are! You are a daughter of the King-a princess-a pearl of great price. You have great value and walk in that awareness and truth. God has given you great love to give and there are so many that know how to return it to you in a way that blesses you. Focus on those blessings and invest in them. Buy stock in the grocery stores!

My husband took it upon himself to reach out to my parents for me -- in kindness, compassion, honesty.

He got slapped in the face, via email.

What I needed, I think I've gotten. Just not the way I'd intended. A collection of emails back and forth between my husband and father that show each one's true character. 

My husband's nature to help and serve while always speaking truth.

My father's inability to see beyond himself. His unwillingness to take on the role of patriarch in all that is good and pure in that term.

"I don't know what could add to the pain we know now. I am glad Melanie is doing well. We are not."

This is what I know -- "Start with God -- the first step in learning is bowing down to God . . . First pay attention to Me, and then relax. Now you can take it easy -- you're in good hands." (Prov. 1:7, 33 The Message).

So I will immerse myself in His Word, which never fails. I will accept there are things I cannot change, and that may never be right this side of heaven. I will not make forever statements or judgments. I will relax in His hands. Turning everything, even my parents, over to Him and my support staff.

Blessings.

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