Thankful Thursday . . . Again

I used to participate in this meme every week, but I slowly got out of the habit. Recently I've been thinking about it again. Maybe it's because it's just a good idea to set aside a specific time to focus on gratitude. Whatever the reason, here's mine for today.

I'm grateful for quiet time. Over and over again I am shown (thank you, Lord) how important quiet is for me. I spent a huge percentage of my young adult and early married years staying as busy as I possibly could. I thought I had to be busy to be a good Christian. It also was a form of escape. If I stayed busy enough I wouldn't have to face the demons lurking around in my head.

What I've since learned is that quiet is my friend. It allows me to focus and regroup. To organize what's really important and release all the detritus that not only does me no good, but actually harms me if it's left to hang around and stagnate.

Quiet time can take many forms. Sometimes it's time to do a simple devotional. I've been using Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals for the past 2 or 3 years and I really enjoy it.

Other times of quiet are spent doing intensive Bible study. I attend a weekly Precept Bible Class. The lessons require several hours of work each week, and are usually incredibly fulfilling. Spending that much time and effort in God's word is always a good thing.

I've attended several workshops on quiet through Dovehouse Ministries and found them to be hugely beneficial. Taking an entire weekend to be silent and spend time in the Word and meditation is a true gift.

All of these require a certain amount of planning and effort on my part which is good. It's good to be focused and intentional about quiet time, but it can also just become something else to put on the list and possibly feel guilty for not completing. Recently I ran across this image 

I realized it offered opportunities to easily incorporate quiet into my daily routine. I have one copy hanging in my laundry room and one on the refrigerator in my kitchen. I make it a point to read the list completely at least once a day.

So for today I am thankful for quiet time. The lessons I have learned from practicing quiet and the gift of quiet itself.

Blessings.


linking up with Thankful Thursday

Crafting

linking up with Wordless Wednesday & The Jenny Evolution

Drawing Pictures on Walls

Yesterday I went through an experience I've had before. I did a genogram -- much like a family tree but with additional information regarding relationships beyond bloodlines.

Genograms are used in treating medical and psychological complaints, but also as a form of learning more about our personal development. I've talked about genograms before especially as they have impacted my healing. In the past I've had strong responses to helping create them. The first time I did one I developed a pounding migraine that forced me into a dark room with a cold compress on my head as I willed myself not to throw up.

Thankfully yesterday's went more smoothly. 

I didn't know until I got to the office that we'd be doing a genogram. When the counselor informed me of it I was hit with a wave of anxiety. She asked if I'd done one before and I assured her that I had. As she was preparing her workspace I mentioned that under the circumstances I would take some medication to ease my anxiety. She offered to postpone the process, but I really wanted to get it done. So we proceeded with the proviso that I could call it quits at any time.

As she drew the outline and filled in my information I concentrated on breathing deeply and fully, not hunching my shoulders, and answering her questions honestly. I didn't backtrack too much and I don't think I over explained (a common problem). As we progressed she expressed dismay over certain things that came to light. Most of them were things I'm used to eliciting sympathy.

Some of her queries surprised me and caught me a bit off guard. In the past genograms have been "just the facts" experiences, but she kept asking me to describe certain people on the chart. How did I feel about them. I found myself answering as honestly as I could, but still feeling obligated to minimize certain things.  "She wasn't all bad." Or "I'm sure there are lots of good things I just can't remember".

When we had completed the layout, we continued to talk for a bit. The counselor then expressed gratitude for my willingness to share and she went on to say that she felt I was a very strong woman to have survived all of the trauma. I believed her, but there was still that little niggle in the back of head. Not a full out voice, but just a hint that I was undeserving of her comments. She told me she really liked me and would like to give me a hug if I was okay with that. I assured that would be fine as long as she warned me in advance.

Her comments and the hug brought tears to my eyes. Any expression of kindness, especially from someone who has just sat through hearing some or all of my story, tends to have this effect one me.

It took me a few hours and a couple of mugs of herbal tea to get my bearings again, but I think this has the potential to be a good thing. Perhaps a very good thing.

linking up with Just Write and Imperfect Prose

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY . . . February 11, 2014

Outside my window . . . blue skies and wispy clouds. 17* but feels like 5*. Brrrrr!

I am thinking . . . about the slight shift I am sensing in my mind set. It is allowing me to do for others because I enjoy the doing, not out of a sense of guilt or obligation.

I am thankful . . . for constant growth and the ability to learn and appreciate new skills.

In the kitchen . . . there has been a flurry of cooking lately. Last night was Mexican Shepherd's Pie. Sunday was Ham and Cheese Quiche, and Saturday we had Layered Chicken Nachos. I made my own tortilla chips out of corn tortillas I had stored in the freezer, and they were so easy and quite delicious!

I am wearing . . . the usual -- flannel robe, cotton gown, and flannel slippers. Maybe I should just remove this entry as it never seems to change.

I am creating . . . multiple projects (again!). Two burp cloths and scarf that I'm trying some new design techniques on.

I am going . . . to be on my own today as my bestie just needed a day at home. I completely get it. I did the same thing last Thursday and it was quite lovely.

I am wondering . . . why it can be so difficult to stay focused on the here and now. It is so easy to shift to future issues and concerns. Now is what I have and I want to live it!

I am reading . . . The Hangman's Daughter by Oliver Potzsch. I'm not as far along as I expected to be by now, but that's because A Rule Against Murder by Louise Penny became available at the library, so I read it. SO GOOD! Perhaps the best yet in the Inspector Gamache series.

I am looking forward to . . . this weekend. Valentine's Day on Friday, Fun Girls' Day on Saturday, and dinner guests on Sunday. 

I am hearing . . . Yaya snoring and the wind chime ringing.

Around the house . . . vacuuming is at the top of my list as is ironing. Two of my least favorite chores. I shall try the Zen approach and make "cleaning a meditation".

I am praying . . . for our congregation as we work through some new ideas. 

One of my favorite things . . . is having a list and marking things off as they are accomplished. I've come to realize that this is for my benefit, and not to prove my value to anyone else.

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . a meeting this afternoon, therapy in the morning, Bible study on Thursday, Valentine's on Friday, Fun Girls' Day on Saturday, and worship and dinner guests on Sunday.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing . . . 

a burst of spring color for these dark, cold February days

for more visit The Simple Woman's Daybook

Coca-Cola Chicken Tenders

A couple of weeks ago we had some people over for chili. It was potluck and one person brought colas. We don't drink much cola around here, so I had some leftover Coke. I also had a cookbook a friend had shared with me, which I have now shared with someone else. Before re-sharing it though, I flipped through and pinned the recipes that looked interesting. This was one of them -- Coca-Cola Chicken Wings. The one problem being, I don't like wings. So I did a variation (shocked, aren't you?!?)

(before sauce)

1 cup brown sugar
12-oz. Coca-Cola®
onion powder
garlic salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons soy sauce

2 ½ pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into tenders OR presliced chicken tenders

Mix first 5 ingredients in a 9"x13" casserole that has been sprayed or greased. Stir to dissolve sugar. Place tenders in sauce flipping to coat. Cover with foil. Bake in a preheated 325 degree oven for 30 minutes. Remove foil and bake for an additional 10-15 minutes to caramelize the sauce. Remove from oven. Transfer sauce to a sauce pan reserving 1/4 cup in a measuring cup. Add 1 T. cornstarch. Stir well and add to remaining sauce. Stir over medium heat until sauce has thickened. Pour over tenders and serve.

Happy eating!

linking up with Made by You Monday

{this moment}

A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Compassionate Witnesses

They are the people who listen and react with love. 

They are the ones who cry when I share pieces of my story.

They are the ones who bolster me up when I think I've hit bottom.

They are the ones who send unexpected notes and even gifts just to let me know they believe in my value as a person.

They are the ones who tell me over and over again I am worthy.

They are the ones who stay even once they know all the horror.

They are the ones who understand I didn't "let" the bad guys do it. That it isn't a reflection of my character that terrible things were done to me.

They are the ones who continue to listen and don't ask, "How long is this going to take?"

They are the ones God has put in my path to be His hands and feet and ears and eyes, and sometimes even His mouth, whispering words of love and encouragement to me.

They are my compassionate witnesses.

linking up with Five Minute Friday