Red Writing Hood -- Recurring Theme

I have a recurring theme in my life: things are difficult – I work through it – I feel really well – something else comes along to knock the props out from under me – and the whole theme begins again.

I’ve been working through a flashback that led to some relationship changes. It’s been an ongoing project since the first of the year. Wednesday I realized I was feeling better, you know more like my old self and capable. Thursday I told some friends things were definitely looking up.

Last night my daughter took a turn for the worse. She has bipolar II disorder. Currently she is in school and working a part time job AND trying to go down on her meds. She hit the wall last night.

The good news is that because I was in a better place myself, I was more equipped to help her this time around. The bad news is, well obviously, that she hit the wall just as I was getting to a better place.

There is a verse in the Bible about God not giving us more than we can handle. Really, God? You have so much more faith in me than I have in myself. I have plaque in my office/craft room with a quote from Mother Teresa

I know God 

won’t give me 

anything I can’t handle. 

I just wish He didn’t 

trust me so much. 

I know how she feels. I bought this plaque years ago when I was first diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. It has served me well over the years as a good reminder that I’m not the only one struggling – that most people’s lives are no bed of roses.

I found myself channeling my therapist and husband to my daughter last night. All those words of comfort and encouragement they’ve offered me over the years that at times sounded so inane, even as I clutched at them like a drowning woman. Sometimes I think it’s the holding on that is the hardest part of recovery. The believing that it WILL get better. That this life is really worth hanging onto.

I wrote earlier this week that I am a strong girl/woman. I believe this daughter of mine is as well. I just want her to believe it.

link up at Red Writing Hood

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY . . . September 13, 2011

Outside my window . . . it’s feeling more like summer than fall. It is sunny and the high is supposed to be close to 90 degrees. The bigger issue for me is the pollen count – grass and weeds are at very high levels right now. 

I am thinking . . . ds is struggling with English. He has a brand new, fresh out of college teacher – not a great situation for his senior year.


I am thankful . . . for a good night's sleep and a cleaner kitchen. I spent some time doing extra in the kitchen last night and it looks much better.

From the learning rooms . . . ds has a brand-new, straight out of college English teacher -- not the best situation for senior year.

In the kitchen . . . last night was just soup and grilled cheese. I’m just not feeling the cooking mojo lately.

I am wearing . . . gray yoga pants and new yellow tank top.

I am creating . . . a new baby blanket for a friend who’s having a baby this fall.

I am going . . . to take care of sweet Micah while his mommy packs for their upcoming move. He is 6 months old and such a sweetie. Aren’t they all at that age!


I am wondering . . .  about this quote:

I know God

won’t give me

anything I can’t handle.

I just wish He didn’t

trust me so much.

Mother Teresa

I am reading . . . The School of Essential Ingredients by Erica Bauermeister

I am hoping . . . to have some time/energy to get some housework done this week. Things are looking a tad on the neglected side.

I am looking forward to . . . a long talk tomorrow about some difficult things.

I am hearing . . . birds chirping and traffic in the distance, followed by the occasional doggie footsteps.

Around the house . . . that bonus room is still haunting me! I've got to get it cleaned up. The probably is none of the extraneous stuff piled around is mine!

I am pondering . . . the struggles of life. That sounds very deep, but I fear it may just be my own self centeredness and inadequacies.

One of my favorite things . . . is tea in the morning. Today it is Cranberry Blood Orange with orange infused raw sugar and dollop of milk.

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . dog sitting. Yes, because what we need is another dog! His name is Sarge and he's part labrador and part Great Pyrenees. Should be interesting with the my "little" doggies, to say the least!

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing. . . 

dh found this picture somewhere

and sent it to me because he

knows I love sunflowers.

it makes me smile.

I hope it makes you smile too!

for more visit The Simple Woman's Daybook