I don't do well with lack of sleep. I know some people can just power through it, or caffeinate themselves through it. Not me. I hit the wall and get cranky, moody, and weepy. My eyes begin to burn, and my throat gets sore and my voice gets raspy. I become incredibly paranoid.
That's what happened this past weekend. And unfortunately I took a lot of it out on my husband. The one I wrote about last week. What a difference a few days, and a lack of sleep can make!
There's a natural inclination in my being to see everything as black and white -- people are good or bad -- no middle ground. That's a harsh judgment on others, and perhaps, an even harsher judgment on myself.
So yesterday I stepped back from the past few days and acknowledged I had behaved in a less than loving way. I accepted that sometimes (especially when sleep deprived) my husband and I won't necessarily see everything exactly the same way -- but that doesn't make either of us "bad people".
I decided to apologize to him. To take ownership of my mistakes, without deeming myself an utter failure, undeserving of love. I gave myself the opportunity to make mistakes, and bounce back from them.
Another step toward learning to love myself as God loves me.
linking up with a love dare
