Ramblings

We spent a week diving in Bonaire. 

I'm still recovering from our vacation, but I did have a few thoughts flit through my head at various moments that I wanted to share before they were lost to the din of daily of life.

Alan is a photographer. He especially loves underwater photography. Unfortunately on this trip he had a few technical difficulties so there aren't as many photos as usual. On one of our last dives (I'm not sure which as they all run together for me) it occurred to me that this time I would just "be" in the moment of the dives. There might not be photos to help me remember things, but by the same token, without photos as a goal I became less focused on finding the right fish or coral formation to point out for a photo op. Instead it became about seeing things and trying to store them away for the future.

This may not be a great revelation for you, but it was for me. I tend to live my life looking forward so much so that I miss out on the now. 

I approached this vacation with some reticence because on our last dive vacation things didn't go well for me. I was really worried I'd have the same ear problems as last time, or that I would just decide I didn't like diving after all. Neither of those things happened. What did happen was I told Alan exactly how I was feeling, above and below the water. I didn't try to second guess what he wanted from me. I did things I like to do (naps by the pool, for example) without guilt or worrying about what he would think.

The fascinating thing to me is how much more fun I had just by letting go. I don't think of myself as a controlling person. I don't try to control other people, but I do try to control situations. It's a safety mechanism that lingers from my childhood experiences. And I let go of some of that on this trip. 

I hope I'll have some pictures to share in the next few days as Alan edits the ones he was able to get. We saw some amazing things -- lion fish, iguana, lizards, cave drawings, goats, and lots of donkeys! We ate some great food, and did our usual enjoyment of desserts, especially ice cream. 

We came home still liking each other which is always a good thing, but especially so this time as dd moved while we gone. Yes, we knew it was happening, but it was still a bit surreal to come home and find her bedroom practically empty. She is settling into her first apartment and full-time job, and we are acclimating to the realization that she doesn't live her anymore. It's a good thing all around, but it feels very different.

Rambling a bit today, but I wanted to say hi and share.

Thanks for all of you who read and comment. You are a blessing.

{this moment}

A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Shore Dives

Write about a time you tried something new

All week long I've been trying something new, and I think, I think, I got it right yesterday.

Alan and I are in Bonaire this week. Bonaire is an island off the coast of South America that is known for it's beautiful scuba diving opportunities. Reefs filled with coral and anemones and all kinds of ocean flora, and an abundance of sea life. I have floated through schools of fish that look as if it's raining fish!

The big difference on this trip is all that all of our dives have been shore dives instead of boat dives. On a boat dive the crew takes you out into the ocean, helps you into yours gear (which they've loaded onto the boat), and then they help you "Jacques Cousteau" off the side of the boat (basically fall into the water backwards). After you're done with the dive, the dive master sends up a flag or buoy and the boat comes and picks you up. The crew helps you out of yours gear and stores in on the boat. Then they pass out snacks and water while you go to your next dive site.

Shore dives, on the other hand, are all on your own. Alan is a dive master (80+ dives), so he's got us covered on all the important knowledge, which is great since I'm still a novice open water diver (26 dives). But we have to do all the prep and finish work. So we load up the truck with all the gear -- tanks, BCDs (dive vests/flotation devices), scuba suits, weight belts,  booties, fins, masks and snorkels, regulators, rash guards, and our own snacks. We drive to a designated dive site, park, and suit up. Then we walk across the beach and into the surf where we put on our fins, do a safety check, and submerge for the dive. It's Alan's job to navigate and keep up with depth and air consumption (although I have a dive watch and air gauge that I watch closely). After the dive is completed, he has to make sure we get back to the location we parked. There are no roadsigns in the ocean -- it's all done with a compass and visual markers. Let me tell you, it all looks pretty much the same to me down there!

The diving has been great. I've been reminded out much I love being in the underwater world. But entrances and exits have been a real challenge. I float like a cork. And dealing with the waves crashing around me as I walk in carrying roughly 60 lbs. of additional weight has been crazy hard. I've been slammed into rocks, fallen down, let the waves wash me up onto the beach. Whatever it took to get back in.

Yesterday Alan taught me a new technique for getting in and out of the ocean. We crab walked in, facing each other while holding hands. Then I put my snorkel in and laid flat in the water and let him put my fins on me. Much better! For me anyway. Actually it was easier on him too. Better than watching me flail around in borderline panic mode. The exit went just as smoothly. I even made it all the way back to the truck in all my gear instead of shedding it in bits and pieces once I hit land.

We're going out this morning for our last 2 dives for this trip and I'm actually pretty excited to try out my technique again. Kudos to Alan for being a real "dive buddy" on this trip! He's worked hard to help me get more comfortable, and it's really paying off.

Try something new, even if it seems scary and hard. The payoff is awesome!

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Shipwreck!

(photo credit Alan Pennington)




linking up with Wordless Wednesday

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY . . . August 12, 2014

Outside my window . . . I see palm trees and the pool outside our room in Bonaire. It's 81* heading up to a high in the mid 80s. Part sun and clouds with a nice ESE breeze that keeps it pleasant.

I am thinking . . . that "vacation" means different things to different people. Dh and I always have to negotiate a bit. He likes to go-go-go, and I like to go-rest-go-rest-go-rest!

I am thankful . . . that we arrived here safely and I am minimal trouble with my ears -- just using lots of Sudafed and a bit of Afrin as the allergist recommended.

In the kitchen . . . what kitchen!?! Actually we do have a fridge in our room as well as a hot water pot, so have yummy snacks, tea, and stuff for breakfast if we so choose.

I am wearing . . . my gown right now, but soon it will be back into my swimsuit and wet suit for more diving.

I am creating . . . memories! Beautiful experiences and memories with my dh. So glad he's a photographer so we will have evidence of some of these.

I am going . . . to Alice in Wonderland and Pink Beach for diving. So far we have done Yellow Submarine, Cha Cha Beach, Bachelor Beach, and Angel City/Hilma Hooker. 

I am wondering . . . what today's dives will show us?

I am reading . . . Atlas Girl by Emily Wierenga. This is a memoir of her life thus far. It is lyrically written and has been totally engrossing.

I'm also reading How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny.

I am looking forward to . . . more dives today and then a quiet evening by the pool while dh goes on a night dive.

I am hearing . . . dh chattering about today's dives. He's like a kid at Christmas once he's in diving mode!

Around the house . . . this is what's apparently happening

Yaya has bonded with dd's cat, Isabeau!

I am praying . . . for out continuing safety. Prayers of thanksgiving for Kent Brantly. Prayers of comfort for the family in Oregon who's wife/daughter/mother killed herself, as well as for Robin William's family.

One of my favorite things . . . is a good vacation. I've had good ones and bad ones. Good is always better.

A few plans for the rest of the week . . . diving, diving, and more diving!

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing . . . 

striking a pose for dh at Cha Cha Beach

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{this moment}

A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

:: fill

I make stacks of clothes and toiletries to fill my suitcase. I fill my carry-on bag with my computer and books and Kindle. 

I fill my belly with food and my hands with crafting supplies.

I fill my mind with stories and movies and documentaries and music.

But what do I fill my heart with? Are those stories and books and movies what I my heart longs for? 

Not really. 

My heart longs to be filled with Spirit. With connection. With affirmation. With love. 

As I head out tomorrow on a new adventure to a new place, what do I want that adventure to be filled with most of all? 

Peace, contentment, joy, and love. Anything else is just icing on my cake of life.

Oh, Lord, as I leave on this adventure I pray for Your guiding hand. For Your protection. Mostly I pray for an open heart to be filled with what You have in store for me. Fill me up!

linking up with (the new) Five Minute Friday