Reading List for 2009

Every year I try to keep a reading list. It's interesting to see how many books I read and what I read. The fact is,I like mysteries. It's kind of a guilty pleasure after being brought up by an American lit professor. Mysteries were looked down upon, but then again my dad is the person who introduced me to Stephen King, but that's a different story. So here's my list for 2009. I'll probably add a couple more by the actual end of the year, but I thought I go on and list these. All are available on Amazon and most at your local library or through interlibrary loan. I don't buy fiction unless it's remarkably good.

In no particular order and with some commentary:

The Lady Elizabeth
The Johnstown Flood -- remembered seeing this one in my grandmother's collection sometime in the early '70s
Among the Mad (Maisie Dobbs Novels)-- I really enjoy this series based on an early female criminologist in England between the World Wars
Speaker of Mandarin: An Inspector Wexford Mystery
Murder Short & Sweet
The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts of Liberation
Marshmallows for Breakfast
The Help
The Chameleon's Shadow
Olive Kitteridge
The Magicians -- the WORST novel I read this year
The Doctor's Daughter
The Big Skinny: How I Changed My Fattitude
Keeping House: The Litany of Everyday Life -- the BEST nonfiction this year
The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher: A Shocking Murder and the Undoing of a Great Victorian Detective
A Death in Belmont
Dark Places
How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else
Dead Until Dark (Southern Vampire Mysteries, Book 1)
Miscarriage of Justice
Payment in Blood (Inspector Lynley)
The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane
Ghost
Living Dead in Dallas (Southern Vampire Mysteries, Book 2)
Bleeding Heart Square
Summer Reading
The Laws of Harmony
Round Robin (Elm Creek Quilters Novels)
Labyrinth
Sleeping Arrangements
A Prayer for the Dying
Uncommon Grounds
The Wednesday Letters
44 Scotland Street
Benny and Shrimp -- the strangest novel of the year
The Anatomy of Deception
Dexter By Design
The Suspect
Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
The Front -- ok, maybe the WORST novel of the decade
A Place of Hiding
A Reliable Wife
Capote in Kansas: A Ghost Story
Duma Key
By Reason of Insanity
The Dead Hour
Home Safe
Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer
A Great Deliverance (Inspector Lynley)
House and Home
The Quilter's Apprentice
The Beautiful Stories of Life: Six Greeks Myths

I think that's 52 which is pretty good. I think I need more variety and I probably read more children's books than are listed here. It will be interesting to see how my reading patterns change in the coming year, now that I'm no longer working at the library. What were your favorite reads of the past year?

Annual Christmas Party

When I was in high school I starting hosting a Christmas party. I loved to entertain and I loved to cook. I would invite my best friends over sometimes for a sit down dinner, sometimes just snacks and hors d'oeuvres. I just wanted an excuse to cook, clean and decorate. I was always surprised that my friends would want to come. It never occurred to me that they came because they liked ME! I figured if I cooked well enough they would come, and I could feel good about myself for a little while because at least they hung around me for my cooking skills. I felt as if I were tricking them into spending time with me. Abuse does strange things to thought processes.

Tonight I'm hosting the annual Christmas party again. There is a core group of us who have kept the tradition up for most of the past 30+ years. There will be snacks -- pigs in blankets are de rigueur. Tonight we're doing a soup theme. I'm making my Ham and Bean Soup and Chicken Minestrone. SMC will bring her luscious bread that's topped with butter, mustard, onions, cheese, and poppy seeds. (It's a meal on its own!). LBB is bringing meatballs, a chicken ball (?), and coffee punch. CCD is bringing dessert and a craft project for us to work on. KFH is coming for the first time in many years. So glad he's in town. We'll sit around and eat and talk and remember why we've been friends, in some cases, for more than 40 years!

Maybe they've hung around for more than just the cooking!

Letter Therapy

So yesterday I posted a letter to an abuse victim. Years ago I discovered letter writing as a form of therapy. I can say things in a letter that I could never say to someone's face. I can talk to people who are dead. I can speak my mind without worrying about the consequences. It's a good way to test the waters and find out how I really feel.

Over the years I've written lots of letters to the people who abused me. I've never sent them for a variety of reasons: 1)I'm still afraid; 2)the person is dead; 3)I don't want to hear unhelpful/unkind things; 4)the benefit is in the writing, not the sending.

Yesterday I wrote a letter to 2 abusers. Neither abused me, but both abused the woman in the first letter. It was a cleansing and cathartic opportunity to "tell" them what I really think of their crimes and sins.

Not all of my letters are venting, though. Some of them are opportunities to let people know how much they mean to me. Like the Random Thoughts post from a few days ago. I worry about how people will respond to kindness almost as much as I worry about how people will respond to criticism.

My request of you today is that you take a moment today to write a letter you've been meaning to write. It can be therapy or gratitude, or maybe both. Send it, don't sent it. It's up to you. See how you feel and share if you'd like.

Blessings of the season.

Open letter to an abuse victim

Dear One,
I want you to know that I believe you. I believe you were abused by ****. I believe you were abused by ****. I believe that even though you tried as hard as you knew how, you couldn’t get the support you needed from the people you needed it from the most. I know your pain was unbearable and you believed you took the only route you could.
I am so very sorry that you reached that point. I wish I could have been a compassionate witness for you in life. But I could not because I didn’t know you or your situation. I can be a compassionate witness now and I will be. I will continue to believe myself and speak the truth. I will support other victims and help them on the road to becoming survivors. I will do all within my power to keep other women from reaching that crushing point that took you away from your life and your children. I will speak out against ALL abusers regardless of their standing in the community. I will not let your death be in vain.
I don’t know exactly what this will all lead to, look like, or mean, but I promise to not let you down as others did.
I will pray for your children and their safety. I pray that you have found peace in the loving arms of Jesus. I will pray for the abusers that they will confess their sins and take responsibility, but mostly I will hold your name up as a victim of abuse. Not a crazy person, but a hurt person.

Go in peace

Random Thoughts

The last couple of weeks haven't been my best. I know I should feel gratitude, but there's been a lot of bad stuff going around and it's hard not to get dragged down by it. This morning as I was reading ML's note on crankiness (and smiling) it occurred to me that I should tell some of you how I feel. So here goes!

MaryLou -- Thanks for lovely and funny and intelligent Notes to make me smile, think, breathe and remember. I am so glad you are back in my life!

Lori S. -- Thanks for animal updates and reminders that you liked me, didn't just put up with me. I am so glad you are back in my life!

Lori J. -- What an inspiration you are to me! Always so happy, upbeat and caring. Thanks for coming into my life in a bigger way.

John H. -- I always considered you a good friend, but the latest connections on FB have proved what a great guy you are and what an enduring relationship this is. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Chris H. -- Thanks for dry, acerbic wit and intelligence. And for liking my kids. You're a treasure!

Linda B. -- You've always been there even when I thought you weren't. Thanks for being one of the few people I can say anything to. I know you've put up with a lot and maybe not gotten much in return. You are the sister I was meant to have.

Caroline -- Years ago I was impressed with you and wanted to be you. Now I am just so happy you are still a part of my life. What a blessing you are and how cool is it the my husband thinks you're the best too!

Keith -- The brother I should have had. My friend, my biggest cheerleader, my singing buddy. You are the best even when you don't know it. I love you and always will!

Mark P. -- For hilarious stories about totally random things. How is it I never appreciated you fully in college?!

So after a week of family illnesses, sad stories of terrible loss in families, cold weather with NO snow, some chronic pain and a really messy house, thanks from the bottom of my heart for caring about me and listening to me whine! Don't ever stop.
: )

Post-Thanksgiving Wrap-up

We had a lovely Thanksgiving with some good friends. We went to their home and had mid-day dinner with their 7 children, his parents, and their piano teacher. With the four of us we had total of 16 and all went smoothly. If I had been able to have more children, I would have loved to have a family like theirs. Their children range in age from 17 yrs. old to 2 yrs old. All of them are intelligent, talented and kind. Their home radiates simplicity, thought, and love. What more could anyone ask?

Holidays are stressful for those of us who have dysfunctional extended families. This year it was nice to leave that all behind and just enjoy the day with good friends. Thanks for including us in your lovely holiday traditions. I hope everyone had as lovely a time as we did!

Thanksgiving

Is is just me or does it seem as if the world forgot Thanksgiving this year? Halloween was a big hit with lots of ads and activities, but I guess there's just not enough $$$$ in Thanksgiving to make it worth any effort. But here it is the night before Thanksgiving and all I'm hearing about is Christmas.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. It seems a good reason to have a holiday. It's really about gratitude, family, and celebration. I like it because it's non-commercial, but that's why it's so unpopular now. My plans are good this year. Thanksgiving dinner with good friends and close family. I've made my son's favorite salad and I'll make 2 pies in the morning. The salad is an old family favorite, Milk Salad and the pies are lighter versions of a couple of Thanksgiving classics, Pumpkin Chiffon Pie and Refrigerator Mincemeat Pie. Both are delicious!

Hope your day is filled with gratitude, love and some good food.

Blessings to all : )