imperfect prose on thursdays: standing firm

There are moments in marriage that are just so tough. Like watching my husband on the phone with his father, trying to get him to agree to 24/7 care in his home. Because he is dying, and we don't want him to die alone.

Hearing my husband yell into the phone, "You're not doing fine, dad! Your not!" And watching him break down sobbing because his father is making it so difficult to do this one small thing for him.

Watching my husband calm himself as his father finally agrees . . . at least temporarily. And then sitting on the sofa, rubbing his back, staring out at the waves on the beach, and knowing that this brief get away is going to end earlier than expected, because he needs to be back at home with his dad.

So we pack everything up, and as he loads the car, I stand on the balcony looking down at the beach as the waves crash, while a storm moves in, and I see the sand castle we built that morning still standing firm in the face of wind and waves. I cry at the thought of leaving it behind. Knowing all the while that it remains in my mind as a picture of this life, this marriage, this husband of mine -- standing firm in the face of wind and waves crashing all around us.

linking up with imperfect prose on thursdays and Write on Edge

Day(s) 28 and 29

We spent the weekend at Pickett State Park with Alan's side of the family. I mentioned before this has been a tradition for years. What I didn't mention, is that this year I wasn't really looking forward to it. I've been having a round of depression and pain lately which makes me want to curl up and do as little as possible (all the while feeling very guilty).
Saturday morning Alan and I packed up and headed up to the park. We made our annual stop at Walmart for supplies for dinner and breakfast, and then drove on into the park.
Our son and his best friend were already there so they helped us unload the car and brought us up to speed on event thus far (the rest of the family had arrived on Friday evening). 
We spent our time doing a lot of relaxing and talking, and not much hiking as it was very wet and rainy. I made a big pot of spaghetti, a tossed salad, and cheesy bread for dinner for everyone, and we rounded it out with roasted marshmallows, pumpkin bread, cookies, and homemade granola.
Sunday morning part of the group got up and took a walk in the misty rain while I started cooking breakfast. That's a tradition as well. Homemade pancakes, bacon, and omelets with juice, coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. There were 10 of us this weekend. That's A LOT of pancakes -- especially when there are special orders involved, i.e., plain, pecan, and/or chocolate chip. Eventually I had to grab a single pancake and one slice of bacon for myself! Everybody ate and talked and laughed and generally enjoyed themselves from the 4 year old to the nearly 80 year old.

After breakfast, my father-in-law came over to where I was washing up the dishes and gave me a big hug. He said, "I wasn't feeling well this morning, but the walk up the hill and all this wonderful food has made me really glad I came." I kissed him and told him the love and affection went a long way as well.
And suddenly I was glad I had come too. Isolation is not good for the soul. And suffering in silence doesn't do any of us any good -- whether it's from pulmonary fibrosis or depression.
So today I'll unpack and clean house and listen to some happy music. I'll do my Bible study and crochet a little. But mostly I think I'll remember that hug from my father in law.

Made by You Monday -- Quick Chicken Chili

My husband goes to visit his father every Saturday night. I send dinner along with him. This started several months ago when my father in law got sick. Thankfully he is doing better, but Alan has continued the "tradition". It's a good chance for them to catch up on things. Sometimes they sit and talk, other times they do some work around the house or yard together.
So this past Saturday, I kind of forgot about dinner until mid-afternoon. I went to the pantry to see what I had, and came up with a quickie little meal. Turns out FIL loved it, so I'll be adding this one to my regular repertoire. 


1 12-oz can Kirkland's chicken breast (white meat only), drained & broken up
1 can Bush's Chili Beans
1 can Del Monte Diced tomatoes


Mix all in a sauce pan or Dutch oven. Bring to a low boil, and simmer for 30 minutes. Serve with blue corn tortilla chips and grated cheese.


I know, I know, this hardly qualifies as home cooking, but sometimes the best we can do is open a few cans and count on presentation to do the rest! 


Happy Monday and happy eating : )


link up at Made by You Monday

Feel Good Friday -- Car Lust

this week I helped my father in law with his car.

he's been pretty sick this summer,

which is very unusual. he's 78 and up

until lately has been healthy as the 

proverbial horse.

he lives on his own and is a college professor

and real estate appraiser.

he has a personal trainer.

he is possibly the smartest person I know.

ten years ago, he bought this:

it is his baby.

as a reward he occasionally lets family

members drive it.

it currently has 3421 miles on it.

yes, you read that right.

three thousand four hundred twenty one miles.

I took it to the car dealer last week for him

to get the oil changed, and to have

them check on a sticky trunk latch.

there is nothing quite like driving a 

little black convertible sports car!

I am a different person when I get

to drive this car.

I am cool!

Tuesday I picked it up from the shop, and yesterday 

I took it in for it's annual run through the

emissions testing center.

on my way there, a little 70 year old

lady rolled her window down and said with 

clear adoration, "beautiful car!"

the guy at the testing center asked if

I'd be back later to pick him up, and 

no he wasn't hitting on me!

it's ALL about the car.

this weekend we have to wash the car and 

return it.

is there any nice way to ask, beg, plead for my

father in law to leave that car to me in his will?

catch up with more "Feel Good Friday" at lia sophia tomgirl

Thankful Thursday -- August 11, 2011

well it's been quite awhile since I've been here.

things have been unbelievably hectic.

all the more reason to stop and take a minute

to express gratitude.

:: for a new Bible reading program that I started

24 days ago. I haven't missed a single day!

I'm doing a chronological reading, which

I have always wanted to do.

Check out this website/app:

YouVersion

:: for a summer spent safely. only 1 car wreck

and no one seriously injured.

however, I'll be getting a new car!

:: for my father in law showing some 

improvement. he started pulmonary

rehab yesterday with a class on learning

how to breathe.

:: for my ds who is starting his senior year in

high school today. I am grateful for all

the joy and laughter he brings into

my days!

:: for my dd who doesn't start classes for

a couple more weeks. she has had a good

summer even handling the car wreck

with aplomb. so grateful none of her injuries

were serious and that the other driver

was unharmed.

:: and as always for my dh who has had a

really rough summer with his dad being

so sick. I am so grateful for everything my 

dh does for all of us.

may you find grace, peace, gratitude, and blessings

this day and every day.

for more Thankful Thursday visit Women Taking a Stand