Writing a Love Letter to My Body

Dear body,

I have decided to accept you as you are. 

When I was a teenager, I compared you constantly to everyone else. Changing for physical education class was an ordeal! My stomach wasn't as flat as everyone else's. My thighs were enormous. My breasts weren't cute and perky. I was 5' 1" and weighed 110 pounds soaking wet, but all I could think about was getting under that 100 mark.

I hid myself in loose fitting clothes. Apologized for my appearance. Worried constantly about how others saw me. 

I got married. He seemed to like my body, but he wanted me to exercise, which I heard as "you look terrible, and you've got to do something about it". 

I got pregnant -- twice. And had two difficult pregnancies. 

I acknowledged a childhood riddled with abuse. 

And it all began to take it's toll on you. I'm sorry.

It's taken a long time, but I don't turn away from the mirror in the bathroom anymore. I stop and I look. There are scars and stretch marks. My stomach is far from flat and my breast sag a little more each year. 

But what I see now (most days) is my body that has traveled all these roads and places with me. My body that got through the abuse. That carried and birthed 2 babies who are now grown people. My body that has learned that touch can be glorious and trustworthy. 

So I'm making you a promise today. I'm going to take better care of you, because you have taken care of me for 51 years. I'm going to take better care of you, because you deserve it and so do I. I'm not going to try and turn back the clock to some unrealistic size and shape. I am going to love you and me for what we are, what we have survived, and how far we have come.

Thank you for traveling this long and winding path with me. I look forward to many more years, filled with kindness toward one another.

M


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