This reminds of a post I wrote nearly a year and a half ago.
What's my biggest fear? It's a ludicrous question to ask a survivor of abuse. I've got a list a mile long. The list shifts and fluctuates, but the one constant is this -- the fear of not being believed.
It's a deeply rooted fear. Planted by abusers, and tended by those who didn't provide an environment of safety to risk telling. Then reinforced by those, who when told, didn't believe, even offering explanations of why I would make up these atrocities. Explanations that cast aspersions on my character, proving the lies the abusers told me are true.
According to Wikipedia, Fear is an emotion induced by a perceived threat which causes entities to quickly pull away from it and usually hide. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger.
It takes a lot of people believing my story to counter the few who don't.
Maybe that's why I keep telling it.
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Wow. I'd never thought about that before. I'm sure that is an incredibly difficult fear to deal with, and I admire you for facing it daily.
ReplyDeletehow sad, and shame on them for not believing you. I understand your fear though it's very vaild.
ReplyDeleteI have two friends that have suffered abuse... and one of them, too, had the mom tell her she was making things up to "ruin my happiness" and the abuse kept on for YEARS until she was able to run away to her aunts. Her mother is STILL WITH THE LOSER!
ReplyDeleteVERY valid fear... very understandable.
I have a grandson who suffered abuse and he had that same fear of not being believed! He is better now but I sure worry about what the adult years will bring.
ReplyDeleteChildren who are able to share and be believed close to the time of the abuse have better chances of recovery. Just recognize that as he grows and develops he made need to revisit the abuse to fully process it. Blessings to all of you as you travel this road.
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